What's a better show?

Family Guy
The Simpsons

Mitch Hedberg is the man, yo. Check it out:

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store oftentimes I will drop it, so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

I bought a seven dollar pen, because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in the file. Under "D"."

It's funnier when you hear him actually say it. That's the best. Want more? Go here.

Also, a friend gave this to me. The whole site takes a while to read but MAN, is it funny.

Okay, chem time. Quiz in 2 hours. yikes!

I know you don't think you did me wrong
and I can't stay here, not for long
keeping ahold of what you just let go
you're just somebody that I used to know

Elliot Smith, bless his soul

no no, my dear IrishGuy, you don't understand. At college (well at least here at the U) you can buy stuff at the convience store located in the next dorm over. Ice cream. cookies. candy. chips. ALL ON YOUR MEAL PLAN. it's good and AWFUL at the same time.

so, funniest convo I've had tonight (online, but the names are deleted to protect the innocent):

my friend: taco, taco, taco, burrito!
me: let's make a run for the border..
my friend: if you plan to take off my top...
me: you know what I want to order...
my friend: three tacos, two tostados and a soda pop
my friend: yeah
my friend: and dont forget the hot sauce chulo

man, I love south park.

oh yeah, all right, feels good inside. - weezer.

skipped chemistry today in the interest of getting myself some physical fitness. I hope we didn't learn much. oh, wait, we NEVER do, because the lectures are WORTHLESS. have to learn everything out of the book... grumble grumble.

feelin' content today. I'm hoping the jason mraz concert next week will be good.

stupid leftover halloween candy. it's frickin' everywhere.

so, sleep tonight? go to the Inn? visit south campus yet again? or do homework? so many choices, so little time. I think I'll start with a shower. Adios.

i'm not feeling all right today
i'm not feeling that great
i'm not catching on fire today
love has started to fade
i'm not going to smile today
i'm not gonna laugh
you're out livin' it up today
i've got dues to pay
the gravedigger puts on the foreceps
the stone mason does all the work
the barber can give you a haircut
the carpenter can take you out to lunch
but I just want to play on my panpipes
I just want to drink me some wine
as soon as you're born you start dying
so you might as well have a good time

Cake - Sheep go to Heaven

as fun as the chatterbox is, I'm thinking of terminating its existence. it causes trouble in the form of unwanted popups which tend to reset people's homepages.

this feels not so much like home, but like life. and I'm liking life. if only college didn't add so many pounds... i feel like my butt has multiplied itself by a factor of 10. probably not far from the truth. eh, I'm going to work out tomorrow. it'll be fantastic.

finished a week's worth of chem homework about an hour ago, and got it all sent in to webassign. ran to the library to clear my head (and also to get my thrice-renewed rented movies back before the midnight deadline), and now I can't sleep. on an unrelated note, ever wonder why we were never allowed to do this kind of stuff at home? you know, late night runs in the cold and dark, and staying up til 2 in the morning, and chatting online a lot? BECAUSE IT'S BAD. That's why.

met really cool boy as of late. I guess he talks about me a lot? this was interpreted by a third party to mean that he likes me? which doesn't make any sense because, unbeknownst to the 3rd party, this boy is gay. yeah, missed a step there. awwright. anyway, he's fun to hang out with. He and I and a few other people (including Manzanita) took a trip at 2 friday night (saturday morning?) to the international district to get some chinese food. (why chinese food so far away? because we were looking for a KFC and we didn't find any, and finally the bus driver called out "last stop", so we got off). decent chinese food and a fun time. then last night, the same group of us watched a ripped version of X2, which I had never seen. Good stuff.

I really do want to live on south campus. I could make it happen, but then I'd be outta luck when TC shuts down operations in the spring. A girl's gotta eat! I guess I'll be satisfied with going down there every other night. hmm.

you in the traffic for all eternity
how could that speed be where you want to be
don't you really want instant pleasure?
think that all these folks that may
do it cuz the pay is great
what you thinking anyway
if drinking coffee's your idea of being cool
you can't expect no crazy chick to notice you
just sittin' there dreamin' instant pleasure

that song doesn't really make sense.. silly Rufus Wainwright

It is over.

hokay, just kidding. College isn't so bad. The folks down in T/L are actually quite cool. and I bought a sweater the other night for 9 dollah. fantastic!

mmm sweepy time. I really need to regulate when I go to bed.

here are a few of my current favorite sites:

end of the world

mario twins (hey slade! shiggity shiggity shwa... guess what idiot!)

this one isn't really my fav website, but it certainly is what the double-pumpkin that JFrey and I bought yesterday will *hopefully *l ook like once we're done carving it tomorrow.

happy halloween everybody!

this excerpt doesn't really give the song justice. But I'll post part of it here anyway:

say it ain't so
your drug is a heartbreaker
say it ain't so
my love is a lifetaker

oh yeah Weezer

[to the tune of "Following the Leader"]

boy, how I hate college, hate college, hate college
boy, how I hate college
I think it really sucks.

ate WAY too much today. I feel like I'm going to explode.

Am on my way to church... a 9:30 youth group? who ever heard of such a thing? yay college.

Then a German quiz to study for. The fun never ends around here!

based on your smile
I'm betting all of this might be over soon
but you're bound to win
cuz if I'm betting against you
I think I'd rather lose
but this is all that I have
so please
take what's left of this broken heart and use
please use only what you really need
you know I only have so little so please
mend your broken heart and leave

I know it's not your style
I can tell by the way that you move it's real real soon
but I'm on your side
and I don't wanna be your regret
I'd rather be your cocoon
this is all that you have
so please
let me take what's left of your heart and I will use
I swear I'll use only what I need
I know you only have so little so please
let me mend your broken heart

I love Jack Johnson

weekend of good times. the newest Trojan is quite proud of his new school and the prowess of his football team, both of which are very good. it was nice to see him, even if his clothing was always bragging about USC.

I told myself this week would be the week to get to bed early. Man, I lie to myself.

my baby don't mess around because she loves me so and yes I know for sure
but does she really wanna but can't stand to see me walk out the door
don't try to fight the feeling cuz the thought alone is killng me right now
thank God for mom and dad sticking two together cuz we don't know how
hey ya...
you think you've got it, oh you think you got it, but got it just don't get it til there's nothing at all
we get together, oh we get together but separate's always better when there's feelings involved
if what they say is, "nothing is forever"
then what makes love the exception?
so why-o, I think we're in denial cuz I know we're not happy here

Outkast - Hey Ya

Every day's a good day for breakfast. Even if you're like me, and you make Cream of Wheat every morning, day in and day out, and you alway manage to make a mess in the microwave. Even then. It's good.

I rather like that chatterbox. Weasel weasel! Fantastic.

chem midterm tomorrow. it's late. Should go to bed. but, i've got laundry drying in south tower. plus, hey, not much is going down in the next 12 hours.... just german at 10:30 and then lunch with jfrey, so there will be plenty of time to sleep/study/whatever. I love making up my own hours of operation.

But we used to do experiments where you tested it. We decided to test the Theory of Relativity. Jeff got a torch and stood on his side of the room. Now Jeff, switch the torch on and shout ‘’go,’ and I will time how long it takes to see the light and the speed... Hold on, if you say ‘go,’ that’s speed of sound, and I would hear that after I’ve seen the light, so say ‘go’ slightly earlier, and you time how early you’ve… Oh, it’s a million miles an hour! I said a million billion… no one can tell! No one can run that fast! And mass… can you weigh the torch for the mass, please? Can you weigh it in a vacuum? Can you weigh it near a vacuum, then? You can weigh it near a vacuum cleaner, that’s great! 4.5 fluid ounces… And that is the energy in cat’s per squared ironing board… And so where are the batteries? Wallop, wallop, wallop…” Then you write it all in a project, and you put water on it, dry it off with a hairdryer and give it in. “It’s kind of blurry…” “Oh, it was the rain!”
Eddie Izzard - Definite Article

in daily apparations
we see them working it out
it is a lot to take the stares from everyone
everyone
every day anticipation
will make them both grow strong
and if the needle breaks their backs
then later on, later on
even when they're alone
it's hard to be connected
because when you get that close
it's easy to feel rejected
easy to lose control
easy to lose your grip on this dirt road
the ride is rough and we're on this dirt road
you can't think with just one kiss
it's a long, long way
it's a long, long way
it's a long, long way
to when you first met her

trip home this weekend was cool. machte viel Spass. I'm thinking I'm not going back until thanksgiving, though. I'm really enjoying this independence, and other college-related things, except maybe studying. Also realized that I eat a lot when I'm home - probably because the food there is free for me. but I did have a good time catching Macbeth. It was interpreted very... interestingly. Hmm. But good. And then between riding home with Knot's dad to get to O-Town, seeing Batman's parents at the play, talking on the phone with little Jihad, and then hanging out with Irish boy and Manzanita's little brother at the cast party after the show, it was like I was with my friends - just older and younger versions. Muy creepy. But definitely a good time.

glad to be back, though. Much to do in this new life of mine. A busy week ensues, full of midterms and meetings and chem labs and lectures. german midterm tomorrow. And don't forget Radiohead Fun on Thursday night. that's gonna be one tight laser show.

did I mention I made it into the small a capella group? I'm pumped. I just printed out the first song we're singing (it's a simple arrangement of Dust in the Wind). The other director took off for somewhere so we can't get ahold of any of the music we were supposed to be singing, but that means a shorter rehearsal, so yay, I guess. I'll probably be pretty tired by 7:30 pm tomorrow.

huskies won yesterday! woot! it's about frickin' time. now the question is, how bad is usc going to beat us next week? depressing thought, but realistic.

i got to watch my sister play basketball today at home. man she is getting tall and really starting to do well in sports - she's a fantastic volleyball player as well. I can't wait to watch her playing bball at CHS - just take the reigns and really drive that team to do well. She's got a lot of potential and she does so much stuff - top in her class and all that. she reminds me a lot of myself except pure as all get out. it's the six year age gap. go sweetheart!

brother the first went to oklahoma this weekend for prospective baseball opportunities. I hope it works for him to go out of state...either oklahoma or n. carolina. I think he'd really love it. not that I don't like it here... but a smaller school would be nice. I think I'm growing to like it here though, the school and the city. hope everyone else is doing well.

all around me are familar faces
worn out places, worn out faces
bright and early for the daily races
going nowhere, going nowhere
the tears are filling up their glasses
no expression, no expression
hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow
no tomorrow, no tomorrow
and I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
the dreams in which I'm dying
are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very very mad world

Gary Jules - Mad World (from the Donnie Darko soundtrack)