ugh... I'm so frustrated right now.
why do things not happen at the time they're supposed to? why do I feel like my emotions are being sucked into a big empty black hole?
Time moves slowly inside of a black hole. If I could suspend time... maybe I could get my feelings back and enjoy these last few moments of high school.
Instead I am counting the days until graduation, when I will finally be free. I want a change of surroundings. New people, new places, new situations. Here, I'm so predictable, and so is everybody else. No one is new or exciting, especially me. What the hell happened to the magic that filled my earlier days... even a few years ago it was still there. I wanted to meet new people, reach out and be that friendly face. Everyone is so faded now.
Yearbooks come tomorrow and I don't want to write in them. Not yet. I don't have anything to say. "It's been a great four years! Have a great summer! Oh, and the rest of your life, too!" Doesn't fit.
I really feel like swearing, but earlier comments from parental unit this evening give me reason to believe that he reads my blog, or at least has heard/read my swearing before and strongly disapproves. Not like he doesn't do it on occasion. Apparently it's okay if you do it when you're mad, but in normal conversation it's not acceptable. Well, this isn't normal conversation, but I"m going to restrain myself anyway. Just imagine that this text is littered with a smattering of four-letter words.
They're only bad if you assign a bad connotation to them.

I was officially the worst girls' javelin thrower at the 4A state track meet. Bah. I'm pretty pleased with 16th in state, though, even though I don't like the events that gave me that place and not a higher one.
Calculus can bite me. I'm so done. Why I must learn to integrate horrible, horrible equations that make no sense is beyond me.
On a lighter note, I'm partially excited about Prom. A little put out by the fact that Batman has decided to spray paint a suit silver just to be cool and cheap. Whatever. It's too late in the game to care anymore. Very excited about all the grad parties, even though they seem to all be taking place within the same week. Bad timing, kids.
Much homework still to be done, and I'm tired. Night all.

I remember when
you and me
ooh how we used to be
just good friends
wouldn't give me none
but all I wanted was some..
she's got a whole lot of reasons
she can't think of a single one that can justify leaving
and he's got none but he thinks he got so many problems
and he's got too much time to waste
his dreams are like commercials
but her dreams are picture perfect
and dreams are so related though they're often underestimated

Jack Johnson - Bubble Toes