I Could Have Bought a Vibrator
But instead, I took my $50 to Amazon.com and bought a food processor.
Probably the handier of the two choices, and almost as fun to play with. Two hours after opening the package, I have 4 different-flavored tubs of hummus and a half-cup of pesto. I doubt I'd get such productive results from a vibrator. This model from Hamilton Beach does lovely work, considering its modest price tag. Sure, nearly the entire thing is made of plastic (including the bowl), but it gets the job done without too much repetition of the old pause-and-scrape technique. I'm pretty sure this little gadget is going to figure into my cooking life pretty heavily for the next two weeks, until I get distracted by something else and forget about it. Speaking of which, can you even buy sex toys on Amazon?