18.12.04

life.

it happens.

how can it be so delightful, lebendig, so joyful and filled with emotion? and at the same time be cold, weary, unsure, and stagnant?

I guess that explains the love-hate relationship.

I'm in a crying mood, and I also want to laugh until my sutures over my wisdom teeth sockets burst. (well, maybe almost to that point.) I feel like doing things I never feel like doing... cleaning the kitchen, doing my laundry. I want a hug.

I was going to edit this post for purposes of coherence. I don't think that'll be necessary. why should I edit myself?

I care, but mostly I don't. Not anymore.

my hair feels soft and pretty today. Ella says there is this magnificent shampoo that would bring out the red tones in my hair, but would come out with the next wash. She was going to give it to me before I left her house, but we forgot.

where can I get good bubble tea in Olympia? and on that note, what is there to DO in Olympia?

I want to drive. Just get in the car and drive. See how far I can get before I force something to happen - I run out of gas, or I crash, or I get to Vegas, or Canada, or Portland.

maybe it's more than that. I want to be away. but I want to be home. striving for something new - now there's a concept.

you know this is for you, right?

this has GOT to be an effect of the vicodin. there really is no other possible explanation. that, or I'm growing. I don't think I like it. there are better things.

I want to write more. but there is nothing coherent = nothing useful, nothing worth saying. Right? so should I read instead?

a Very boring individual, I am. cookie cutter. a Happy person isn't always the most interesting person, in fact that's seldom the case. MAybe if I read more/ write more/ do more/ explore more/ adventure more/ live more/ listen more/

it would make me a more interesting girl

16.12.04

turns out that getting my wisdom teeth out is just like every other medical procedure: I dread it, and I think that I'll freak out during it, but then it turns out it's not that bad, and neither is the recovery.

:) so I'm doing good, and I'm glad that I'm at home. Ususally I try to stay up in Seattle as long as I can, two or three days after finals, just to hang out, and maybe see a movie or two. But I couldn't get home fast enough this time - mostly because Brother the first finally got home last Friday. We hadn't seen each other for 6 months, and I didn't want to wait a day longer. I was done with finals on Monday, but I DID still have a project to finish, so I did that at TESC library most of Monday and Tuesday and brought it back up to Seattle on an errand run. Got to bring Jeff to the airport so he could catch his flight back to LA. It was fun seeing him off... that makes two goodbyes in one day, as I had to say goodbye to a friend who is moving back to Missouri on the 21st. It was sad, but that's how life goes, I guess.

The only downfall of having my wisdom teeth out this morning was that there were three opportunities for having fun tonight in Seattle, if I had gone. An OC party, a final farewell party for the Missouri guy, and some hanging out with older friends from Yale and 'SC. But I'm really reveling in the post-op crashing and the Vicadin, so it's all good.

Speaking of the OC, I think I'll watch that tonight. That, and Love Actually, which I downloaded onto my laptop before I left the glory of DC++. Between that and re-loading stuff onto my iPod, I think I'll be set for my figurative house arrest.