3.5.03

Time for Friday Five! (only a day late...)

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
Ignition Remix by R. Kelly. Rap goes against just about everything I believe in, but somehow I ended up liking this song.
2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
I don't really cry when I listen to songs... but I suppose if I were to pick out two songs that make me sad/wistful, they'd have to be Don't Know Why by Norah Jones and Konstantine (artist unknown to me).
3. Name three songs that make you want to dance.
I really like Breathe In by Frou Frou, Shiver by Coldplay, and basically any upbeat showtune or swing song. K, so that last one would probably have to be In the Mood by the Glenn Miller Band (I think that's who it is anyway).
4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
Music is my life, it really is. A Long December by the Counting Crows, Clocks by Coldplay, Rio by Duran Duran, and Dance of the Flowers by Tchaikovsky. Hope I spelled that right.
5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
Karma Police by Radiohead, Dosed by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, And So It Goes by Billy Joel (oh also everything he's ever written), The Space Between by Dave Matthews Band, and Babylon by David Grey. That's only a small sample... I really, really have an intense love for music. This question doesn't do it justice.

my stupid "o" button stopped working, and now I'm copy/pasting o's in when I type. The "a" button is threatening to quit its job as well.... damn. Anyway, should have studied more today, but instead slept in til 12, hustled to pull off a quartet commitment, and then bummed around the house turning down offers to hang out. Not that watching X2 or Apocalypse Now wasn't appealing, it's just that I felt I should stay home, especially after I told Dad that I would. (Was out til 1 last night and he was a tad pissed off, so playing cribbage with him tonight made up for it, I think. Even though I won.) So only minimal math studying happened today. Will do more tomorrow. Jeez, that last word had too many o's to paste.

i'm not afraid of anything
be it growing old or going out of style
I'm not afraid of anything
who would give up what she wants without a trial
another mile
I'm not afraid


I'm Not Afraid of Anything - Jason Robert Brown

1.5.03

took this quiz today.... guess which Friend I am:





I'm Joey Tribbiani from Friends!

Take the Friends Quiz here.

created by stomps.





I never saw it coming.
Talent show was bunches of fun tonight... can't believe how talented Capital students are. Awesome.
Made a shake for my dinner and now I'm going to bed because I have an IB test tomorrow. Love you all!
and for those of us testing these next few weeks, good luck! (Not that you'll need it...)

also, you should look at this.

lyrics for tonight are straight from the talent show. what an ephenephrine rush.

I think they meant it
when they said you can't buy love
now I know you can rent it
a new lease, you are my love
on life, be my life


I'll Cover You - Jonathan Larson (from RENT)

29.4.03

just had to include this... I laughed out loud when I clicked on the link. Dave Barry comes up with some Internet gems.

ATTENTION, COLLECTORS OF HISTORIC ARTIFACTS

We have no doubt whatsoever that this is the genuine item.


(Thanks to Claire Martin)
posted by Dave 11:03 AM

awesome. Like hot dogs.

28.4.03

now don't y'all go expectin' a whole lotta postin' this week, y'hear...
.. yup it's IB testing time, and I'm going slowly insane. The process is likely to pick up speed once the first test commences on Friday. And it's all downhill from there. Yep, pretty much.
Anyway, if posts are scarce on this page, don't be worried... actually, you should be happy, because it means I'm studying. Woot.
Short summary of recent or soon-to-come activities:
1. Starting second week of not eating sweets (barring Luna bars and coffee) and cutting out snacking. Doing well and feeling fantastic, apart from the occasional "ohmigod must have food right now" feeling, which I feel I suppress quite decently. Wish my dad would stop buying ice cream and snack-y foods, but if it doesn't kill me it'll make me stronger, I guess. Can you tell this is hard for me?
2. Ran by RF's house tonight at about 9... hope he got the message. Also took my sister to get a McFlurry.
3. Tuesday: rehearsal for talent show.
4. Wednesday: Free scoop night at B&R. C'moooon, willpower!
5. Track meet and talent show on Thursday. It'll be a lot of fun but very, very tiring.
6. And, yes, the IB English test on Friday.
7. In case I don't make it back to this page in time, Saturday = Track Meet. (Another one...)

whoa, there we go. Quite the schedule, eh? And lyrics... can't forget the lyrics...

we live in a beautiful world
yeah we do, yeah we do
we live in a beautiful world
oh, all that I know,
there's nothing here to run from,
and yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on


Coldplay - Don't Panic

27.4.03

turns out the short stories for the patron's contest were NOT limited to 60 lines. Curse my inability to interpret things.. ah well. Am frusterated at the moment because of the convo J-Dawg and I were supposed to have auf Deutsch... yeah well my computer decided in the middle of it to make AIM stop working, and so the convo didn't get printed out, and Herr will never know it occured. Scheisse. Anyway.. fun weekend, had a track meet on Saturday that was 90 minutes away from school that lasted a good 11 hours. Yup, I was stupid enough NOT to bring my own car. I was there the entire day. But it was fun hanging out, translating songs with J-Dawg and cheering people on with Teasa. Speaking of her, I wish she wouldn't quit track.. we have such a good time together at the meets. Darn IB tests aren't worth it.
Today felt good - the sun was out and I went to the gym soon after waking up. Had a good workout, felt motivated, even to the point where I stopped at the park on the way home and jogged around there, too, just enjoying the beautiful day and the waterfall and the memories of summer, and anticipating the coming summer. Also went to symphony rehearsal and just remembered how much I love music and what a big part of my life it is. Part of that came from teaching the younger kids again, the 3rd time this time... the real coach is finally back after a month, and will only have one rehearsal with the kids. I wonder if the youngest ones will remember what she looks like, haha. Anyway, I made $35 each time, which works for me.
Been listening to Billy Joel a lot today... especially Waltz #1 (Nunley’s Carousel). He’s got a whole CD of classical-style pieces that he’s written, and the two that I’ve heard are extremely beautiful, and they’re not as long (read: boring) as some classical music is. I intend to buy the entire CD when I get the chance (and the money). Such good stuff. Another of his songs dominated my car stereo on the way to and from symphony.

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
Yu answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self-defense.

And every time I’ve held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It’s just as well for all I’ve seen
And so it goes and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows


Billy Joel, And So It Goes
here's that story I was telling y'all about... wow it's gonna take up a lot of blog space. Good thing there's no limit.

“Actually, I’d rather not go to the show tonight,” Erica muttered, looking at the floor. “I think I’ll stay home tonight. See you tomorrow.” She ducked back into the shadows of her apartment and closed the door, leaving me standing alone in the hall.
I stared blankly at the numbers on Erica’s door as the idea sank in: She doesn’t want to go to the show? Walking to the elevator, I reached up into my purse and pulled out the pair of Jimmy Eat World concert tickets I had bought the previous month. Erica had seemed so excited then, when I had told her I had tickets to the show. I vividly remembered her dropping an armful of books on the floor in the midst of it – her giggling, hysterical, “Oh-my-gosh-Brynne-this-is-gonna-ROCK” ecstasy.
Well, I thought as the elevator closed, the band will be rocking in a few hours, and apparently Erica isn’t going to be there for it. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes, but I decided I didn’t care enough to cry about this. She doesn’t want to go? Fine. I’ll call Joey, I thought as I pulled out my cell phone. At least he cares about me.
Twenty minutes later, Joey and I were climbing into my red Miata, heading for the concert in Portland. I turned the bass way up, joking about how the noise would prepare our ears for the decibel level. Joey smiled and said something that I couldn’t really hear. The music flooded my head and I hoped it would carry away the feelings of anger and resentment I was beginning to feel towards Erica. But seriously, who did she think she was, anyway? Just ditching me like that without so much as an explanation. Four weeks’ worth of planning, and for what? Nothing. You’d think that your best friend of 10 years would do more to maintain the relationship. What a terrible person…
The car went silent. Joey’s hand was on the stereo power button.
“Hey, now, what was that for?” I asked lightly, brushing his hand away from the stereo. “There’s no reason to –”
Joey grasped my hand. “There’s every reason,” he stated. “Something’s wrong.” A pause. Then, “Your knuckles are white.”
Observant boy. “Here, let’s listen to something else. I’ve got Pink’s latest in the backseat. Or how about some Chili Peppers?” My cheery tone belied my irritation.
But Joey was persistent. Massaging my hand every so slightly, he waited a minute before asking me, “Is this about Erica?”
“Sort of,” I replied hesitantly. I could have said no, perhaps, and avoided the topic altogether. But Joey had always been sympathetic to my pain; he would understand. “It’s just that, you know, she was supposed to see the show with me tonight, and at the last minute she cancelled.” I ventured further. “She has been such a brat lately. It’s incredible. We used to be so close, but these last few weeks she’s been impossible. Always in her apartment. Never calling. What is her deal, anyway?” I looked over at Joey, expecting support, for him to say Yes, Brynne, you definitely shouldn’t have to put up with this.
Joey’s sad eyes gazed back at me with such painful intensity that I almost swerved in shock. “What?” I asked incredulously. “It’s true.”
“Pull over.” The urgent tone in Joey’s voice struck a chord. I took the next exit and slowed to a stop on the shoulder. “Joey, I –”
Almost inaudibly, Joey whispered, “She’s dying.”
I froze.
“She was diagnosed two weeks ago leukemia.” He paused, running his hand over his face. “The doctors said they could have done something about it three years ago, but now it’s so widespread –”
“Stop it!” I screamed, flinging my arms at his chest. “Erica doesn’t have cancer! She would have told me –”
“She couldn’t tell you!” he shouted as I continued to thrash. He wrapped his arms around my tense torso, holding my arms down. “She couldn’t bring herself to do it. It hurt her not to, but she knew how much it would hurt you.” And then, softer, “Honey, come here. Calm down.”
But I couldn’t hear him anymore. My body had collapsed against his and he sat there, rocking me gently back and forth, holding my head against his chest as I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

I was back at Erica’s door, almost two hours after leaving her hall with my stupid feelings of resentment. I hated myself for being so petty and ignorant. How to tell all this to Erica, I didn’t know. All I could do when she opened the door was stare at her beautiful eyes and skinny arms. Eyes that seemed to be growing in her pale, shrinking face. Arms filled with the burden of a heavy secret. Eyes that noticed my tear-stained cheeks and slumped shoulders, and arms that engulfed me even before I could choke out the words: “I’m so sorry.” Eyes that closed tight to forever shut out our shallow grievances, and arms to hold on to me, hold on to the moment, and hold on to life for as long as it would let her.