2.8.03

I don't want to mess with the HTMLing anymore. Just did a bit to make my blog look like less of a mess.

Must leave for a wedding gig soon. Must get ready, but also must pour out a little bit into this blog o' mine, because I feel ready to burst.

Asked a question yesterday to a friend, and not really expecting an answer, I got one and it shocked me. It made me rethink a lot of things; it upset me. I realized slowly that this large portion of my life, one that I thought would remain fairly constant, is now only a shadow of what it once was, all due to my misconceptions and lies to myself. I think I know what I need to do in regards to all of this, but I really, really would rather not - I have doubts as to whether I am strong enough a person for it. I guess I will continue to act as I normally would, but I'll keep in mind the truth instead of lying to myself and I'll see where that gets me - maybe the plan that I know I should follow will become the one that I want to follow.

I think that little vague paragraph helped some. Made me feel less likely to puke.

Wedding time.

27.7.03

screw that shizzle.
just one more time.
wow. I SUCK at this stuff.
click here and see if you get my tolo pic. If it does, it means I'm that much closer to learning HTML. Want some more Batman? try here.
well, if this isn't the most annoying blog layout you've ever seen in your life.

So I suck at HTMLing. Give me a break, it's my first shot at it.

At least my efforts in altering my blog made me rechannel my frustrations into something less damaging to worry about.
Tried to vent frustrations about life to a friend today. Either he did not want to listen or (more likely) I was not capable of communicating my greivances. I guess why this website is here, right?

What's the big fing deal with partying? Everyone thinks it to be so much damn fun, going out and getting drunk/stoned off your ass..

Shit. Dad's home. Gotta go to bed. More later..