I don't want to mess with the HTMLing anymore. Just did a bit to make my blog look like less of a mess.

Must leave for a wedding gig soon. Must get ready, but also must pour out a little bit into this blog o' mine, because I feel ready to burst.

Asked a question yesterday to a friend, and not really expecting an answer, I got one and it shocked me. It made me rethink a lot of things; it upset me. I realized slowly that this large portion of my life, one that I thought would remain fairly constant, is now only a shadow of what it once was, all due to my misconceptions and lies to myself. I think I know what I need to do in regards to all of this, but I really, really would rather not - I have doubts as to whether I am strong enough a person for it. I guess I will continue to act as I normally would, but I'll keep in mind the truth instead of lying to myself and I'll see where that gets me - maybe the plan that I know I should follow will become the one that I want to follow.

I think that little vague paragraph helped some. Made me feel less likely to puke.

Wedding time.