6.5.04

I swallow hard
back of the throat connecting with the tongue
because what I have to say
is difficult to get out -
difficult, but important
vital
and so I must do it quickly
before I lose it,
before the moment is gone...
There.
Haltingly, with a bit of a stutter
and a touch of uncertainty,
the thought is voiced -
a gleaming beacon of depth and understanding
even in its imperfection.
I trust him -
trust him to take it -
gently pick it up with forceps and Latex gloves
quietly admire its small white light
smile, maybe
and then offer up one of two possible responses
- love mixed with concern and thoughfulness -
- indignance mixed with a crushing fury. -
so imagine my surprise
when the tiny ball of light is neither
embraced, nor
rejected
but simply allowed to slide
into the abyss
taking with it
a portion
of
my
own
light

4.5.04

Jeff (on poker with a cult): "I raise you a soul, and my firstborn."
wondertone03: I see your soul and firstborn and raise you a sacrifical goat and the blood of a donkey.

2.5.04

Add me to the blog webring. I want to add my two cents, too.

I see great things in you. I believe you have drive, passion, and a motivation, though you may not see it yet. Throughout high school you were this great, smart, compassionate boy, one who sees light and beauty in things that other people ignore. I looked up to you; I thought you were older than you really were. So when you first told me, during the first few hours of the new year, lying next to the pool table in the dark, I didn't believe it. Not one word. How could such a brilliant, compassionate person do that? CR's right - you are blessed, and you need to keep that in mind; however, it doesn't mean you don't require sympathy, or help, or love. So i'm here to say it: I am sorry, and I do love you.

I sometimes wonder what Jesus must have felt like, dying for the sins of world, wanting so badly to take them upon himself. Do you ever feel like that? Of course, on a much smaller scale. But even the desire to take away the pain and the hurt, because they're hurting so much that YOU hurt. It's a glimpse of that.

How can I help?