I swallow hard
back of the throat connecting with the tongue
because what I have to say
is difficult to get out -
difficult, but important
vital
and so I must do it quickly
before I lose it,
before the moment is gone...
There.
Haltingly, with a bit of a stutter
and a touch of uncertainty,
the thought is voiced -
a gleaming beacon of depth and understanding
even in its imperfection.
I trust him -
trust him to take it -
gently pick it up with forceps and Latex gloves
quietly admire its small white light
smile, maybe
and then offer up one of two possible responses
- love mixed with concern and thoughfulness -
- indignance mixed with a crushing fury. -
so imagine my surprise
when the tiny ball of light is neither
embraced, nor
rejected
but simply allowed to slide
into the abyss
taking with it
a portion
of
my
own
light