oh wow.

I've forgotten what it is to be close to God. Will somebody remind me?

Honestly, now. How can everybody in the world be close to God? There's so many of us, and only one of Him. But He definitely has the power. If He created the universe, don't you think that He would have set it up so that a relationship with Him is vital to your soul's existence? But why does He want to have a relationship with me? Lowly, insignificant me? He created me; He already knows everything there is to know about me, from my most honorable moment to my darkest of sins. What else can he possibly want? And if that is indeed what he wants, what the HECK am I doing putzing around and wasting my time?

This is bothering me, and undoubtedly the other people around me too, because I've been pestering them about their beliefs.

too much thought for tonight. Need to chill out.

"don't be too influenced by other people, but if you feel that you should go back to religion, then do it."

the river of doubt gave birth to a beautiful stone
and in my hand i held it
and i knew i was on my own
so i picked it up
and i held it to the sky
and in my reflection i knew i was all alone
then i saw this girl with the most beautiful hair
she had it wrapped around her
for clothes she did not wear
i asked her for a lock, and she complied
after leaving gorgeous footsteps in the sand
as if she didn't care...

Dispatch - Flying Horses