If you must play, win. If you can't win, avoid the machines and instead try dumping a Utah-family-size whole laundry detergent box in the fountains at Paris Las Vegas. This is as exciting as craps, I guarantee it. Have your driver waiting in the middle lane -- not the taxi line, at left -- and synchronize your dump with the stop signal out on the Strip. When it's green, do it, get your ass back in the car, and go. Security is stationed a ways over toward the garage but they'll run if they have to; so step on it. Allow 30 minutes for bubbles to reach peak flow. Plan ahead, send me the snapshot, and as always, good luck.

Who is this guy?