we open Babes.. tonight. Thus, I must leave soon. Doesn't really seem like a Thursday night tonight, since I didn't go to work today. I was given the day off, and said I'd be in to work for 3 hours, and then I slept in and didn't go. Ah well, when your employer is your father, you're allowed to slack off once in a while.
Tonight I'm going to Lakefair after the show - good fun will be had by all. I'm especially anticipating what the Barrel Maker refers to as "nummy food". And for once I have money with which to buy it.
Watched "Pirates of the Caribbean" today with an old friend. 'Twas weird, since I don't think he wants to remain 'just friends', and so the movie was a little awkward. The 2 1/2 hour length didn't help either. AND I bought his ticket in exchange for what I later learned to be a tape of the show "FAME", the Capital Playhouse version. Hmm. Feeling used, and rightly so.
Ooh, very hungry, and I don't think the director's jelly beans will quite hit the spot. Off I go to eat, change into black clothing (god forbid! it's 80 degrees out!), and play a fantastic (?) show.
they call us Babes in Arms
but we are babes in armor
you now have a sample of what will be running through MY head for the next 2 hours. And the sad thing is, those two lines represent every lyric of the show that I know.
17.7.03
16.7.03
K, spelled "Marguerite" wrong in that last post. Honestly, now.
What have I been up to in the last few days? Nothing much. Working some more. Freaking out at the realization that the weddings my quartet is playing for in August are suddenly not all the far away, and that we need to start rehearsing NOW. (Okay, Sunday at 11 AM.) Ideally, this next week should be filled with half-exciting Lakefair fun, but since I am a moron it is in fact filled with performances of Babes in Arms, with me sitting down in the orchestra pit and occasionally playing in the correct key. I keep having to remind myself that I am doing this to "give back to the community." It's a much better outlook on it than "my God, why am I here? I hate this..."
Speaking of "my God," I read an amusing little tidbit today in Reader's Digest. (Yes, yes, I read it all the time... I especially enjoy tearing out the drug ads that take up every other two pages and looking at how empty the magazine looks afterwards. Advertising for old folks. Merh.) It said that a Writing 101 class at Harvard asked students to write a concise essay including religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The only A+ in the class went to the following paper: " 'My God,' said the Queen, 'I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it.' "
HAHAAHHAAAAAAA!
More proof that I'm going insane. I missed an Ultimate Frisbee game today because I overslept during my nap. And you know WHY I overslept? Because I stay up way too late at night doing stupid things like blogging. Please refer to today's (Tuesday the 15th) Dilbert comic to understand this concept of self-inflicted dilemnas.
I have no lyrics for today, because usually I type out the song that is in my head, but the song that is floating around in there today is from Babes in Arms, and I only know the violin part. Probably has words, but since I don't know them... tough luck for you.
Night all!
What have I been up to in the last few days? Nothing much. Working some more. Freaking out at the realization that the weddings my quartet is playing for in August are suddenly not all the far away, and that we need to start rehearsing NOW. (Okay, Sunday at 11 AM.) Ideally, this next week should be filled with half-exciting Lakefair fun, but since I am a moron it is in fact filled with performances of Babes in Arms, with me sitting down in the orchestra pit and occasionally playing in the correct key. I keep having to remind myself that I am doing this to "give back to the community." It's a much better outlook on it than "my God, why am I here? I hate this..."
Speaking of "my God," I read an amusing little tidbit today in Reader's Digest. (Yes, yes, I read it all the time... I especially enjoy tearing out the drug ads that take up every other two pages and looking at how empty the magazine looks afterwards. Advertising for old folks. Merh.) It said that a Writing 101 class at Harvard asked students to write a concise essay including religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The only A+ in the class went to the following paper: " 'My God,' said the Queen, 'I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it.' "
HAHAAHHAAAAAAA!
More proof that I'm going insane. I missed an Ultimate Frisbee game today because I overslept during my nap. And you know WHY I overslept? Because I stay up way too late at night doing stupid things like blogging. Please refer to today's (Tuesday the 15th) Dilbert comic to understand this concept of self-inflicted dilemnas.
I have no lyrics for today, because usually I type out the song that is in my head, but the song that is floating around in there today is from Babes in Arms, and I only know the violin part. Probably has words, but since I don't know them... tough luck for you.
Night all!
This test brought to you by Blakeney Manor.
Find out:Which Scarlet Pimpernel character are you?
Yes, that's right, I'm Margurite
6.7.03
Hey! I'm still alive! How about that?
In addition to continuing to breathe, I got my IB scores back. Sixes in everything except for math and English, and those received 5's, so I guess I can't complain. I was expecting English and German to be bumped up a level, but hey, I'm happy. Credits at UW? I think so.
you can set my truck on fire and roll it down a hill
and I still wouldn't trade it for a coupe d'ville
I got an 8-foot bed that never has to be made
you know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tail gates
I met all my wives in traffic jams
there's just something women like about a pickup man...
Joe Diffie - Pickup Man
In addition to continuing to breathe, I got my IB scores back. Sixes in everything except for math and English, and those received 5's, so I guess I can't complain. I was expecting English and German to be bumped up a level, but hey, I'm happy. Credits at UW? I think so.
you can set my truck on fire and roll it down a hill
and I still wouldn't trade it for a coupe d'ville
I got an 8-foot bed that never has to be made
you know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tail gates
I met all my wives in traffic jams
there's just something women like about a pickup man...
Joe Diffie - Pickup Man
26.6.03
Sweet. New Blogger. Not that this post will be any different from the other hundreds of thousands of bloggers who will post for the first time on new.blogger.com. Anyway.
I'm hoping that this new site carries over my old template, because I thought it was quite lovely, even if it did only take up half of the screen. Waste of web space, yes, I know, but isn't that what the whole thing is in the first place?
For some reason, my internet is acting funny at home, so I've taken to writing at my dad's office. Only at times when I'm not getting paid, though, like now, when it's 5:10 and I'm waiting for Dad to finish up so I can go home and sleep. Sooo tired.
In fact, I think I'll just take the car and come get him later. Right then, catch ya all later. Luvs.
and I tried to believe it
It was better without you
I was better alone..
no
I'd give it all for you
I'd give it all for you by my side once more
oh
I'd give it all for you
I'd give it cause the mountains I climb grow higher and higher
I'm flying through air, I'm walking through fire
and dreams just don't come true
but now there's you
Jason Robert Brown - I'd Give It All for You
I'm hoping that this new site carries over my old template, because I thought it was quite lovely, even if it did only take up half of the screen. Waste of web space, yes, I know, but isn't that what the whole thing is in the first place?
For some reason, my internet is acting funny at home, so I've taken to writing at my dad's office. Only at times when I'm not getting paid, though, like now, when it's 5:10 and I'm waiting for Dad to finish up so I can go home and sleep. Sooo tired.
In fact, I think I'll just take the car and come get him later. Right then, catch ya all later. Luvs.
and I tried to believe it
It was better without you
I was better alone..
no
I'd give it all for you
I'd give it all for you by my side once more
oh
I'd give it all for you
I'd give it cause the mountains I climb grow higher and higher
I'm flying through air, I'm walking through fire
and dreams just don't come true
but now there's you
Jason Robert Brown - I'd Give It All for You
21.6.03
just decided a short while ago that the love of my life is, in fact, James Frain.
The above comment was made in the full realization that the publishing of any comments with actual meaning and importance might be sacrificed. I can only type so much when I'm exhasted. Goodnight, all.
it's about one moment
the moment before it all becomes clear
and in that one moment
you start to believe that there's nothing to fear
it's about one second
and just when you're on the verge of success
the sky starts to change
and the wind starts to blow
and oh, you're suddenly a stranger
there's no explaining where you'll stand
and you didn't know that you sometimes have to go
around an unexpected bend
and the road will end
in a new world
Jason Robert Brown - Opening to A New World
The above comment was made in the full realization that the publishing of any comments with actual meaning and importance might be sacrificed. I can only type so much when I'm exhasted. Goodnight, all.
it's about one moment
the moment before it all becomes clear
and in that one moment
you start to believe that there's nothing to fear
it's about one second
and just when you're on the verge of success
the sky starts to change
and the wind starts to blow
and oh, you're suddenly a stranger
there's no explaining where you'll stand
and you didn't know that you sometimes have to go
around an unexpected bend
and the road will end
in a new world
Jason Robert Brown - Opening to A New World
20.6.03
17.6.03
How can I express what I have experienced these last 12 hours. Only half a day and I have participated in a graduation ceremony and an awesome grad night trip. So many pictures were taken, but that's nothing in comparison to the great memories. Things I don't think I'll ever be able to forget:
- The Scrub thanking TyOsh's mother for her lunches - and about 50 people agreeing.
- Batman dancing in his crazy way and singing "Move, bitch, get out the way," a song that he had just learned that moment (not that it's hard to learn or anything... it's just that Batman doesn't usually know "popular" music).
- All of us doing the "UDub" dance to nearly every song.
- Dodgy kneeling and singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" with me.
- TyOsh playing the piano beautifully.
- Princess being totally hypnotized and cuddling up to Dodgy when she thought he was Batman, and being so freaked out when she realized who she was snuggling with ("I have no idea who that guy is").
- Singing Beatles songs on the bus.
- Watching Davies stare at his car for a long time after he got off the bus. Just standing, and staring, and finally reaching out to touch it. ("How does this thing work? I've forgotten.")
- The following conversation which transpired shortly after returning to the school:
Manzanita's dad: "What planet are you from?"
Batman (looking zoned out): "I'm from Venus."
Manzanita and I: "That's the girls' planet!"
Batman, after a short pause: "Oh yeah... I'm from Mars."
Batman, after another pause: "Have you guys seen my car?" (It was parked right next to where we unboarded - he had to walk past it to talk to us).
This night and Prom rival each other for the best night this spring, and I think grad night wins out because 1. better food and 2. more time awake... actually lots of reasons. We went on a boat, with dancing and piano playing and gambling and a buffet, all the way from Tacoma to Seattle. Then we went to a Family FunPlex, where Manzanita and I played DDR to our heart's content, breaking only for round of laser tag and later for the hypnotist show (and then only because they pulled the plug in the middle of our game). In the midst of it all, we sang, laughed, danced, hugged... all the things you'd expect from a group of people about to separate for the last time. No more "have a nice summer, see you in the fall" type stuff... it's really goodbye. Finally it's hitting me - the immense sadness of it all. It didn't even worry me at commencement - I was too worried about missing my IB cord and not getting pegged by a beach ball, and trying to convince myself that the Dr. Seuss speech wasn't all that bad.
I think I'm done blogging for today. Yeah, my internal clock is off, so I guess I might blog later today after I sleep a while, but I won't consider it to be the same day as now... making no sense am I? Uh huh. Awright, must take brothers to school so I can have the truck for the day. Sayonara.
I need you
before I'm too old
to have and to hold
to walk with you and watch you grow
and know that you're blessed
Elton John - You'll be Blessed
- The Scrub thanking TyOsh's mother for her lunches - and about 50 people agreeing.
- Batman dancing in his crazy way and singing "Move, bitch, get out the way," a song that he had just learned that moment (not that it's hard to learn or anything... it's just that Batman doesn't usually know "popular" music).
- All of us doing the "UDub" dance to nearly every song.
- Dodgy kneeling and singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" with me.
- TyOsh playing the piano beautifully.
- Princess being totally hypnotized and cuddling up to Dodgy when she thought he was Batman, and being so freaked out when she realized who she was snuggling with ("I have no idea who that guy is").
- Singing Beatles songs on the bus.
- Watching Davies stare at his car for a long time after he got off the bus. Just standing, and staring, and finally reaching out to touch it. ("How does this thing work? I've forgotten.")
- The following conversation which transpired shortly after returning to the school:
Manzanita's dad: "What planet are you from?"
Batman (looking zoned out): "I'm from Venus."
Manzanita and I: "That's the girls' planet!"
Batman, after a short pause: "Oh yeah... I'm from Mars."
Batman, after another pause: "Have you guys seen my car?" (It was parked right next to where we unboarded - he had to walk past it to talk to us).
This night and Prom rival each other for the best night this spring, and I think grad night wins out because 1. better food and 2. more time awake... actually lots of reasons. We went on a boat, with dancing and piano playing and gambling and a buffet, all the way from Tacoma to Seattle. Then we went to a Family FunPlex, where Manzanita and I played DDR to our heart's content, breaking only for round of laser tag and later for the hypnotist show (and then only because they pulled the plug in the middle of our game). In the midst of it all, we sang, laughed, danced, hugged... all the things you'd expect from a group of people about to separate for the last time. No more "have a nice summer, see you in the fall" type stuff... it's really goodbye. Finally it's hitting me - the immense sadness of it all. It didn't even worry me at commencement - I was too worried about missing my IB cord and not getting pegged by a beach ball, and trying to convince myself that the Dr. Seuss speech wasn't all that bad.
I think I'm done blogging for today. Yeah, my internal clock is off, so I guess I might blog later today after I sleep a while, but I won't consider it to be the same day as now... making no sense am I? Uh huh. Awright, must take brothers to school so I can have the truck for the day. Sayonara.
I need you
before I'm too old
to have and to hold
to walk with you and watch you grow
and know that you're blessed
Elton John - You'll be Blessed
14.6.03
went looking through my blog archives, and I think the idiots lost about two month's worth of my files. Not that it really matters, but I do like to go back and look at what I was thinking/feeling back in those times, and remember what was happening. It's good to see how I was dealing with the major issues in my life, and to see if they were really that major since I now know the outcome. Helps me to put things in perspective once in a while.
On second thought, I should not have called the blogger people idiots. They'll probably render my blog inaccessible.
Last night really did go well, for all of you who might care. I mean, I'm not usually exposed to that kind of scene, so as far as I can tell.. it was okay. I just can't see doing that kind of stuff every night though. Once in a while is fine, but wow. I need my down time. And when I think about it, it's only fun because it's 1. a change of pace and 2. kinda "bad girl"-esque. It's that mix of something different and something risky that produces the fun. Doing it more often only takes away from those qualities, thus ruining the fun. Am I overanalyzing this? Survey says: yes.
Done with high school. I don't even want to talk about it yet, just because right now it doesn't seem momentous. Just seems like I've completed some big nasty chore and I'm glad to be washing my hands clean of it. Maybe at graduation I'll start feeling the love more. Being sad at the thought of being parted from my classmates, and such.
my oh my you know it just don't stop
it's in my mind I wanna tear it up
trying to fight it trying to turn it off
but it's not enough
it takes a lot of love it takes a lot of love my friend
to keep your heart from freezing
to push on to the end
David Grey - My Oh My
On second thought, I should not have called the blogger people idiots. They'll probably render my blog inaccessible.
Last night really did go well, for all of you who might care. I mean, I'm not usually exposed to that kind of scene, so as far as I can tell.. it was okay. I just can't see doing that kind of stuff every night though. Once in a while is fine, but wow. I need my down time. And when I think about it, it's only fun because it's 1. a change of pace and 2. kinda "bad girl"-esque. It's that mix of something different and something risky that produces the fun. Doing it more often only takes away from those qualities, thus ruining the fun. Am I overanalyzing this? Survey says: yes.
Done with high school. I don't even want to talk about it yet, just because right now it doesn't seem momentous. Just seems like I've completed some big nasty chore and I'm glad to be washing my hands clean of it. Maybe at graduation I'll start feeling the love more. Being sad at the thought of being parted from my classmates, and such.
my oh my you know it just don't stop
it's in my mind I wanna tear it up
trying to fight it trying to turn it off
but it's not enough
it takes a lot of love it takes a lot of love my friend
to keep your heart from freezing
to push on to the end
David Grey - My Oh My
13.6.03
IB campout last night. Seriously funny stuff. I had a good time, and other people did too, I thought. I'm going to go take a nap in a bit.
We are done with high school. What a relief. AWESOME.
Gotta go now, but I guess I'll blog some more later.
won't you look down upon me jesus
you gotta help me make a stand
just gotta see me through another day
my body's aching and my time is at hand
I won't make it any other way
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
but I always thought that I'd see you again
James Taylor - Fire and Rain
We are done with high school. What a relief. AWESOME.
Gotta go now, but I guess I'll blog some more later.
won't you look down upon me jesus
you gotta help me make a stand
just gotta see me through another day
my body's aching and my time is at hand
I won't make it any other way
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
but I always thought that I'd see you again
James Taylor - Fire and Rain
3.6.03
ugh... I'm so frustrated right now.
why do things not happen at the time they're supposed to? why do I feel like my emotions are being sucked into a big empty black hole?
Time moves slowly inside of a black hole. If I could suspend time... maybe I could get my feelings back and enjoy these last few moments of high school.
Instead I am counting the days until graduation, when I will finally be free. I want a change of surroundings. New people, new places, new situations. Here, I'm so predictable, and so is everybody else. No one is new or exciting, especially me. What the hell happened to the magic that filled my earlier days... even a few years ago it was still there. I wanted to meet new people, reach out and be that friendly face. Everyone is so faded now.
Yearbooks come tomorrow and I don't want to write in them. Not yet. I don't have anything to say. "It's been a great four years! Have a great summer! Oh, and the rest of your life, too!" Doesn't fit.
I really feel like swearing, but earlier comments from parental unit this evening give me reason to believe that he reads my blog, or at least has heard/read my swearing before and strongly disapproves. Not like he doesn't do it on occasion. Apparently it's okay if you do it when you're mad, but in normal conversation it's not acceptable. Well, this isn't normal conversation, but I"m going to restrain myself anyway. Just imagine that this text is littered with a smattering of four-letter words.
They're only bad if you assign a bad connotation to them.
I was officially the worst girls' javelin thrower at the 4A state track meet. Bah. I'm pretty pleased with 16th in state, though, even though I don't like the events that gave me that place and not a higher one.
Calculus can bite me. I'm so done. Why I must learn to integrate horrible, horrible equations that make no sense is beyond me.
On a lighter note, I'm partially excited about Prom. A little put out by the fact that Batman has decided to spray paint a suit silver just to be cool and cheap. Whatever. It's too late in the game to care anymore. Very excited about all the grad parties, even though they seem to all be taking place within the same week. Bad timing, kids.
Much homework still to be done, and I'm tired. Night all.
I remember when
you and me
ooh how we used to be
just good friends
wouldn't give me none
but all I wanted was some..
she's got a whole lot of reasons
she can't think of a single one that can justify leaving
and he's got none but he thinks he got so many problems
and he's got too much time to waste
his dreams are like commercials
but her dreams are picture perfect
and dreams are so related though they're often underestimated
Jack Johnson - Bubble Toes
why do things not happen at the time they're supposed to? why do I feel like my emotions are being sucked into a big empty black hole?
Time moves slowly inside of a black hole. If I could suspend time... maybe I could get my feelings back and enjoy these last few moments of high school.
Instead I am counting the days until graduation, when I will finally be free. I want a change of surroundings. New people, new places, new situations. Here, I'm so predictable, and so is everybody else. No one is new or exciting, especially me. What the hell happened to the magic that filled my earlier days... even a few years ago it was still there. I wanted to meet new people, reach out and be that friendly face. Everyone is so faded now.
Yearbooks come tomorrow and I don't want to write in them. Not yet. I don't have anything to say. "It's been a great four years! Have a great summer! Oh, and the rest of your life, too!" Doesn't fit.
I really feel like swearing, but earlier comments from parental unit this evening give me reason to believe that he reads my blog, or at least has heard/read my swearing before and strongly disapproves. Not like he doesn't do it on occasion. Apparently it's okay if you do it when you're mad, but in normal conversation it's not acceptable. Well, this isn't normal conversation, but I"m going to restrain myself anyway. Just imagine that this text is littered with a smattering of four-letter words.
They're only bad if you assign a bad connotation to them.
I was officially the worst girls' javelin thrower at the 4A state track meet. Bah. I'm pretty pleased with 16th in state, though, even though I don't like the events that gave me that place and not a higher one.
Calculus can bite me. I'm so done. Why I must learn to integrate horrible, horrible equations that make no sense is beyond me.
On a lighter note, I'm partially excited about Prom. A little put out by the fact that Batman has decided to spray paint a suit silver just to be cool and cheap. Whatever. It's too late in the game to care anymore. Very excited about all the grad parties, even though they seem to all be taking place within the same week. Bad timing, kids.
Much homework still to be done, and I'm tired. Night all.
I remember when
you and me
ooh how we used to be
just good friends
wouldn't give me none
but all I wanted was some..
she's got a whole lot of reasons
she can't think of a single one that can justify leaving
and he's got none but he thinks he got so many problems
and he's got too much time to waste
his dreams are like commercials
but her dreams are picture perfect
and dreams are so related though they're often underestimated
Jack Johnson - Bubble Toes
29.5.03
it would be just like my blogger to not work at this moment. I'm glad it is.
Condensed philosophy time. I've been feeling very socially unaccepted recently. It's my fault, because people aren't really clique-ish or snobby at all, and I'm trying to figure out exactly why i"m feeling this way. I think I know. At least I think I do. It's because I'm not as involved as I used to be. I don't volunteer anymore, I don't organize things, I've stopped caring about orchestra and other things in my life. There's hardly any homework anymore so I've just stopped doing it. My life feels devoid of purpose. Obvious solution: add these things back in, which will eventually result in the state i was in before.
But that raises more questions. Do I do all these activities to hide myself from the fact of my own unhappiness? Or do these things truly make me happy?
I find comfort in odd places.
All right, that's enough of that. Track meet tomorrow to go to and me with nothing packed. Later gaters.
would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven
would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way
through night and day
'cause I know I just can't stay
here in heaven
Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven
Condensed philosophy time. I've been feeling very socially unaccepted recently. It's my fault, because people aren't really clique-ish or snobby at all, and I'm trying to figure out exactly why i"m feeling this way. I think I know. At least I think I do. It's because I'm not as involved as I used to be. I don't volunteer anymore, I don't organize things, I've stopped caring about orchestra and other things in my life. There's hardly any homework anymore so I've just stopped doing it. My life feels devoid of purpose. Obvious solution: add these things back in, which will eventually result in the state i was in before.
But that raises more questions. Do I do all these activities to hide myself from the fact of my own unhappiness? Or do these things truly make me happy?
I find comfort in odd places.
All right, that's enough of that. Track meet tomorrow to go to and me with nothing packed. Later gaters.
would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven
would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way
through night and day
'cause I know I just can't stay
here in heaven
Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven
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