JEFF IS HERE! yay!!!!!

yay for hiking! This weekend was unique. We went 18 miles, compared to the 17 of the first weekend at Mt. Rainier and the 13 of last weekend at Mt. St. Helens. The views were not as breathtaking as the five-mountain view on top of Goat Mountain at Helens, nor were there as many varied landscapes like those at Rainier. But we did have a spectacular campsite on Lake Boulder, where you woke up and exited the tent to find yourself at the edge of a beautiful lake surrounded by tree-covered hills. The weather was clear the entire time, but not too hot, so the 10 miles on the first day went pretty fast. And the second day was a heavily-wooded 3.5 miles until we hit the hot springs, which were amazing.

Of course, I absolutely love hiking. It's great because you don't remember the bad moments, when you look back at it. You don't remember your aching knees as you decend into the river valley, or the bug bites, or the wet sleeping bag, or your blisters. You remember hiking through snow and quaint alpine meadows. You remember the hilarious story about a research group in China asking their native group leader for kerosene to make fire, and getting a Soviet WWII era flame thrower instead. You remember sitting in the flashlight-lit tent, teaching cribbage to the only group member who doesn't know how to play, and having to mentally track your score. You remember seeing the deer, elk, hummingbirds, rabbits, and grouse. You remember making a delicious curry sauce to go with your rice for dinner. You remember the newts sunning in the shallow end of Deadmen's Lake. You remember the mystic beauty of Ipsut Pass in the fog. You remember the laughs, the songs, and the mishaps.

You remember the good times.

Working today at the office, I realized there is something I really, truly hate.

Now before I go on, I have to say that normally, working at the office makes me feel happy. People are there working to recover from injuries and surgeries, and the physical therapists keep their patients' health as top priority. Spirits are almost always high, and we do our best to deliver excellent patient care. Such should be the goal of every medical provider.

But of course, medical insurance companies do their best to rear their big, ugly heads and deny coverage for everything. Today, there were two people whose insurance I called to check benefits, only to find that they had so much deductible left that they wouldn't see a cent from the insurance until after several visits to our office. One of them even had an allowed amount that was smaller than the deductible!!! Imagine having your insurance company put a cap on visits which you yourself are paying for!! Now that's just adding insult to injury. Literally.

So naturally, we are not seeing either of these fine folks in our office again. Thankfully, one of them was only a one-time visit anyway. But the other person really needed the PT and won't be getting it. It's a shame, folks - it's really a shame.

In other, more upbeat news, I got the new Harry Potter book on loan from a friend who has already finished it. I read it at lunch today while I was eating and then working out. Speaking of working out, I can't decide whether I should go do that, or go clean my room. I'm thinkin I should do the cleaning, seeing as how I will soon be having guests staying in my brother's room, which has much of my crap in there. So the quicker I get my room clean, the faster I can put my college junk from my brother's room into mine... ah, it's going to be a headache. Maybe I should just give all of my worldly possessions over to Goodwill.

Well, whatever I'm going to do, I'd better get started. Better than wasting time here on good ol' Compy. Btw, Jeff, what's the link to your brother's blog?

freakin' emo! sheesh!

In this life, you gotta smile. You gotta laugh. All those things that piss you off, or that you think are totally unnecessary, or are a waste of time, or are sad - you just gotta turn around and laugh at them. It's the only way to keep your sanity.

Unfortunately, in doing so, people will judge you. Walk around with a big smile on your face, and what do you get? Less respect. Isn't it a tragic catch-22?

You know what's dumb? Freak dancing. I think it's really only an American thing, too. In other countries, people actually dance.

Hiking this weekend will be at Mt. St. Helens. A guy that I haven't seen in 2 years will be coming with us. Cool, huh? I hope so.

There were a few moments there where I considered deleting my post of two weekends ago. Of course, I didn't do that. Why amend what's on my mind? No one else does. Really, no one reads blogs. My faithful readership is a prime number less than 4. It's funny that this one doesn't make any splash at all until... oh, man. Free speech is a double-edged sword, I guess.

I can comment on it, though. I won't delete, but I'll comment.

I understand that I wouldn't have been invited on a fun weekend if my company wasn't desired. I never felt like I deserved any of it - probably the exact opposite is true. And that's why I felt the way I did - since I didn't deserve it, there must have been another reason.

I did try to socialize. And I enjoyed hanging out with the people I did, when I did, for the most part. It's just that on the last night I wasn't feeling very social, and I felt that wasn't acceptable. Doesn't everyone deserve some space when they need it? I think it's reasonable for me to publish these sorts of feelings on a blog. Hey, there are worse outlets, right? This is a good place to be critical. And I criticize many things that I'm a part of, for example America, UW, Olympia, and Seattle. I think if I'm a part of the drama, it's good to criticize it, rather than shove it underground and pretend like it didn't happen.

Speaking of outlets, I may need to find another if I keep getting messages on my phone. I guess there's no need to share those messages, but then again, there's no need for them to be left on my voicemail. If it's such a moot point, why was there a second message?

I guess I call all of this "high-school drama" because it only involves people from high school. And it's not the people. It's the connections. Think about it - he said that she said that he heard that she said. How does all this word get around? Because everyone knows everybody else and they all have each others cell phone numbers, and various senses of loyalty to one another. The same sort of thing happens in offices, in small towns - similar settings. The fact that this all happened on the weekend that it did is really just a coincidence. It involves people from high school, and nobody else. Anyone else notice this trend? If it were just the people, I would live with those girls in a heartbeat. We all know that it's the connections that change the atmosphere, and that's precisely what drives me away. It gets to be too much for me. I'm afraid - afraid that I wouldn't be happy. Afraid that I'd be trying to please everyone all the time. Afraid that I'd side with someone when I shouldn't, or not stick up for someone when I should. I guess that's why I run from it. It's the easy way out, I guess... but why would I go the hard way?

So now, some people have opinions on what needs to happen next. I guess this is the part where I stick to my guns and do what needs to be done, not what other people think I should do.

I hope I'm strong enough?

After my small dinner party tonight, I'm a tired girl. It'd be best if I go to sleep now - gotta get up early for work tomorrow.

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You Learn - Alanis Morrisette (back when she was good)

This is such CRAP.

Just had a MUCH better weekend. Wow, I love hiking. It is simply AMAZING. I might update on the trip later, because right now it's quarter to 11 at night and I have work in the morning, and I intend on bathing for a long while in the jacuzzi tub before I actually go to sleep. But yes, updates will be made.

This weekend was a series of mixed reactions. If I told you the details of my vacation, it would sound like the best thing ever: 3 whole days of 85 degree weather at a house on a dammed-up portion of the Columbia, an entire extended family of a friend to hang out with, and boats and jet-skis and wakeboards and sound systems and cold drinks and pool tables and ping-pong and foosball and poker and and and...

And it was. It was a lot of fun. How incredibly relaxing, to have absolutely nothing to do but drive around in a boat in your swimsuit. My only worry was when to reapply sunscreen so that I wouldn't get too burnt. "Work" was going to eat dinner, or leaving to help bring in the boat and clean it out for the night, or wiping down the jet skis. I was just in heaven as I was wakeboarding behind the boat, and the amazing speakers blasted out "Master of Puppets" as I jetted across the surf. I could drink a Red Bull and eat Sun Chips as I lay out on the boat, and I wouldn't have to think about a thing. It was really a great time while it lasted.

But the company situation was less than desirable. First of all, I felt like I was invited along just because I was the only one in our circle of friends who had not been to Sunland yet. (Yes, that was the name of this 200-lot riverside community.) Furthermore, the other invitee was a guy that I have not gotten along with for years. This is no secret; we just do not like each other very much. There's no real reason for the dislike, from what I can see. But there doesn't have to be -sometimes certain people don't get along. It's just a simple fact. But we are capable of being civil, and so I thought things would go smoothly enough to where we'd have an enjoyable weekend. And as it turns out, it's the aspects that I didn't anticipate that slowly soured the weekend. First, there was a slight feeling of alienation from much of the family, where instead of being called by name I was referred to as the "friend", and no one really talked directly to me except for the host and the grandma (who is the coolest grandmother ever. It's been scientifically determined), and no one but the kids would approach me to play games with them. This was made worse by the fact that the other invited friend of my friend's had already been along a few times, and he was loved by virtually all the family. Another compounding factor was the slow realization that the friend who had invited me was becoming increasingly annoyed with me, and I couldn't do anything to fix it. Nothing I did was right, and the worst part was that I couldn't just get up and leave when I wanted to, since we had all come in the same car to a getaway 150 miles from my house. Believe me, if it would have made their vacation better, I would have.

Then, to top it all off, I made a small mistake right after I got back to Olympia due to a miscommunication. That part, I admit, is my fault. But of course, word got back and it resulted in an angry phone message and a few conversations between other friends about the topic before the day's end. And of course, now they're mad at me, and I don't know how much I should fight it. Fight to regain the favor of an acquaintence I don't particularly like anyway? I think I'll stay away from that one. The real question, then, is what to do with my female friend... the one that may not want to talk to me, at least not for a while.

This is why, my friends. This is why I didn't live in the CHS girls' apartment this year, or in their cluster last year. This is why I make such a colossal effort to make new friends at UW. This is why an out-of-state school may have been the better choice. TOO MUCH HIGH-SCHOOL DRAMA.

A patient who knew my grandfather years ago came in for his visit today. When I asked how he was feeling, he said he was doing a lot better. And then he told me I looked sharp today.

After thanking him, I sat down at my desk again, and it hit me. My grandfather used to say that very same thing.

You look sharp.

Ah, nostalgia.

I have rediscovered my love for weight lifting. It is seriously AWESOME. I'm talking hammer-mega-geil here. Once I start working out at the gym, there is no way you will be able to tear me away until I have done my upper body or lower body set to completion - not even a dinner at Outback Steakhouse with my family motivated me to leave the gym early today. An added bonus is listening to music simultaneously... the iPod gets me through the boring Eliptical session, and then Metallica's "Master of Puppets" propels me into my set. Everytime. Und ja, mein Schatz, ich denke immer an dich waehrend des Liedes. Immer. Du und die Band sind zusammen meine Motivation...

But working out at the Valley (our local gym) can be annoying sometimes. Like right after work, when all the office workers hit the gym, and there are no machines to work on. Also, the signs around the place have random, dumb grammatical errors, like "Please limit your workout to 30 minutes when people waiting", or "Bring you're kids swimming". No joke; those are true-life examples.

Another element that can be difficult at times is when my sister comes along. It always seems like a good idea, because we can go play basketball together, or swim, or do other fun things. But my normal 75-minute routine needs to be followed first, which Jamie doesn't like, and thus our time at the Valley looks more like this:

Minute 1: Jamie decides she's tired, and doesn't want to work out anymore. She states that she will sleep in the car while I work out. I leave her the keys.

Minute 2: Jamie is following me into the Valley. Apparently she has changed her mind.

Minute 5: I'm starting my workout on the Elliptical machine. Jamie is behind me, making faces in the mirror because there is an old guy on the machine next to me and she can't work out next to me.

Minute 6: Old guy leaves. Jamie gets on the machine.

Minute 7: Jamie has transferred to another machine, one without arms, which is two machines down from mine. She has taken an interest in the programming on the TV on that side of the room. I believe it's a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond.

Minute 20: Everybody Loves Raymond is over. Jamie walks by me with a questioning glance, as if to say "how much longer?" I point at the timer on my machine. Jamie rolls her eyes and goes to the mat to "stretch".

Minute 21: I glance at Jamie in the mirror. Jamie is on her back on the mat and eating Kashi cereal from a sample-pack she got in the lobby. No stretching is occuring, at least none that I can see.

Minute 35: My Elliptical training session is over. I walk to the mat to stretch. Jamie asks if we can leave.

Minute 36: I say no. I leave to get some water.

Minute 39: I start off my weight lifting routine with bench press. I mouth to Jamie, "Do you want to do this with me?" She wrinkles her nose in disapproval. She won't even spot the lift for me. I think she wants more Kashi.

Minute 50: I'm doing my third set of military press. At this point Jamie has only bugged me once about leaving. She knows not to do it again.

Minute 51: Jamie walks over towards the cardio equipment again. I think to myself, oh good, at least she's making the most of her time. She sits down on a stationary exercise bike. I start and finish my fourth set of military.

Minute 54: I look up between sets of bicep curls. Jamie is on the bike, but the pedals aren't moving. Everybody Loves Raymond is on again.

Minute 58: Tricep time. Raymond is apparently not as interesting this time around, because Jamie comes over during my third set of tricep curls. I assure her that there is only one more set left, and that she should spot me so that I don't bash in my skull if my triceps give out.

Minute 59: Jamie stands behind me and waves her hands up and down under the bar as I do my last 8 reps. I guess no one ever taught her to spot.

Minute 61: Earlier in the workout, say around Minute 20, I had hoped that there would be time for situps. Now I realize there is no chance. Jamie drags me to the locker room. We pass the lobby. Jamie grabs another sample pack of Kashi.

Minute 62: We head to the steam room. Jamie is excited because she's never been in the steam room before, and she's in a 18+ only locker room, which means she could get kicked out. Adreniline rush!

Minute 63: We are in the steam room. Jamie apparently really doesn't like old naked ladies. She tells me so several times until one joins us in the steam room. Jamie is quiet.

Minute 64: Old naked lady leaves. Jamie resumes whining.

Minute 70: Enough of the steam room. Time for more Kashi.

Minute 75: We escape the locker room. As we leave through the lobby, Jamie does a hesitation dance with the Kashi basket.

Minute 77: Jamie finally takes a Kashi sample pack. I tell her she should just take the basket. We leave the Valley.

Now, you can see how such shenanigans might disrupt my workout routine. And the fun doesn't end there. Oh, no. Take, for example, the following gems:

Dinner the next night at the Outback Steakhouse: Jamie states to Dad that there is a reason that people under 18 can't go into that locker room. Evidently it's to "save their vision" (the young people's vision, not the old naked ladies' vision).

After dinner: I come home and look in the pantry. The cereal shelf has a new addition. Kashi.

Well, time to go watch "October Sky". And get ready for tomorrow, which will be a day at work, and then another glorious workout. I probably won't bring Jamie, though. There is too much Kashi to be eaten.

We listen to a classic rock station ALL DAY here at the office. They play a certain set of songs and while the order might get mixed up, the set is the same. But I do like this selection courtesy of The Cars:

I don't mind you comin' here
and wastin' all my time
'cause when you're standin' oh so near
I kinda lose my mind
it's not the perfume that you wear
it's not the ribbons in your hair
I don't mind you comin' here
and wastin' all my time
I don't mind you hangin' out
and talkin' in your sleep
it doesn't matter where you've been
as long as it was deep, yeah
you always knew to wear it well and
you look so fancy I can tell
I don't mind you hangin' out
and talkin' in your sleep
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed

Family Guy is awesome:

Peter: "I guess that means I have no use for you anymore, Tink."
Tinkerbell: "So that's it? You're done? You're gonna leave me, just like that?"
Peter (eyes narrowing): "You knew what this was."

First week of work alllll done and over with. I can't believe how busy that office gets. There is NEVER a break. I swear... I don't know how people work there year-round. It's ridiculous.

I gotta make some calls and get some friends over here. Bye now!