9.10.04

today's topic: House Parties.

1. Never throw a party half an hour after the conclusion of a major nationally-broadcast political debate, unless you are certain that everybody in attendance is of the same political persuasion. Doing otherwise promotes arguments, unnecessary feelings of apathy and the occasional death threat in a language that the other party can't understand.

2. House parties can be boring at first. Thus, you should make sure to arrive more than fashionably late.

3. When the large hoard of Russians shows up, make sure one of the hosts is aware of the situation. Also, remind him/her whose name, exactly, is on the lease.

4. Music of some sort is a must. Lest your house party have a dull moment, take every measure possible to get some tunes blasting through your pad. Yo. (This could require you to assemble a small contigent to help a friend carry his 5-piece stereo over from his house, 2 blocks away.)

5. Having two chess boards out is generally not the way to "get the party started right". It's excusable at the very beginning of the evening, especially if no one shows up until 10:30.

Any more questions? Just ask. I probably won't answer.

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