i'm wondering if i can't just be who i think i am. maybe the person i think i am is not really who i am. who am i?

many times i do things just because i think people will find it more pleasant, or more attractive. this is dumb. but it's also necessary to function in society. so what's the more important contributor to overall happiness? accepting yourself, or adjusting your behavior so society accepts you too?

i talked to many different people at andy's tonight, many of whom i did not know before i got there. I swear, i was different with each new conversation. i smiled a lot more during some, i made eye contact more often during others. my voice got higher or lower depending on the other person's energy. In one, we talked about evolution as an event facilitated by an intelligent omniscient being, and in the other we talked about the O.C. and i refrained from making any sort of witty comment. overall, i hardly disagreed with any statement made. there was a lot of grinning, a lot of nodding.

what is wrong with me?