sweet. Now I, too, have apologized to the cows.





You should do it too. DO IT! DO IT!

look at all those fancy clothes
but these can keep us warm just like those
and what about your soul? is it gold?
or is it straight from the mold and ready to be sold?
cars and phones and diamond rings
bling bling
but those are only removable things
and what about your mind? does it shine?
or are there other things more important than your time?

-from Jack Johnson's new CD, "On and On." Track 5 - Gone

okay, so it's a week and a half later. I still really want to go on another hike. Why did I wait until now to start hiking, when I grew up in one of the most beautiful hiking areas in the US (or even the world)?

And now I'm going to become a city girl.

Intimidating, it is. City life sounded like a whole lot of fun until I realized that while I enjoy day trips to Seattle, I think I prefer a quieter habitat for everyday living. Places closer to nature, with friendly faces and a lower crime rate. We'll see how I fare.

Babysitting for the Aussie kids was a hoot and a holler. I practically lived off of quesadillas and Lindor bon bons, while the four-year-old, by his own choice, survived on meals consisting mainly of hotdogs. It was fun though, making cookies and going to Burger King for lunch one day, and having Manzanita+bf and Jihad out after the kids were asleep - it was like having my own house. The pay was pretty good, too. Regardless, I was extremely happy to be able to hang out with people my age and not have all the responsibility of kids once I was done with the job. I swear, if I ever become a single mother... I don't know what I'll do. Hire a live-in nanny, probably. Or go crazy.

So life is fairly normal again. My quartet did our second and last wedding last Sunday, and our final gig is tonight. And there was much rejoicing. I'm back at work, although I've been taking off quite a bit of time - last Friday I took off at 11 AM to drive with Jihad to Port Townsend for a day trip, and yesterday I took the afternoon off to go boating with Batman and others. Good stuff. I'm feeling really independent, a feeling boosted by the fact that Dad's in Canada fishing and has left practically all important matters in my hands. (Basically, I'm paying for things like gas and football clearance fees and making a reimbursement list. Also trying to keep my brothers from throwing impromptu parties, although on that front I haven't been so successful.) Consequentially, I feel like I'm in college already, although in college I know I'll have a much smaller living space, no car, and classes to attend. Hmm. So I feel like right now I'm in a pretty good place. Happy, happy happy.

Jihad left this morning for school. Can't say I'm too upset about it yet. Gotta let it sink in. There's a lot of stuff that has yet to sink in to my brain. >WHOA< says brain

um< something just happened to my keyboard and I can't make punctuation marks and caps lock became default and holy bejeezus I need to lie down before lunch is over due to yesterday's skiing and tubing adventures. hey, there's my punctuation!

hallelujah!

It's quarter to 8 now and I have to leave for work but I'm really hoping that I'll have time today between work and quartet and babysitting for the next 3 days to tell you all about the awesome camping trip I just went on this weekend oh my god it was so much fun and I want to talk about it.

I usually don't use a whole lot of run-on sentences. Does it convey my excitement?

Laterz.

um, I miss my old blog. Not that I want it back.. I think it was too girly for my liking. Much better on this new template. But still, the nostalgia.

Brother the first is not home yet and I am worrying. He has the car. Not good.

hmm, well, have been thinking about a conversation that apparently I never had. indeed it does seem like something of a dream. I feel that it may have been embarrassing to the other conversationalist... I just hope this person knows that the subject was approached in an almost tactful manner, kinda like asking for permission first, and that is admirable. Also helped me come to a decision that I may not have made had I not had said conversation. Which is good. And so you see, all things happen for a reason.

Very excited for a hiking trip this weekend, seeing as how I've never ever been on one. Really surprised at Dad's lax attitude towards all of this.. a year ago I would never be allowed to hike the weekend away. he really doesn't care where I am or what time I'm home, for the most part. Can you imagine... this is what college will be like, but better. But also with less spending money.

I agree with what the 19 year old had to say in her livejournal. I'm not ready to part ways with many of my good friends. Why must this happen?

but as I said, everything happens for a reason.

And it's true.

I want bones like iron
and blood like mercury
so I can tell you when I'm rising
when I'm sinking in

dispatch - two coins

The solution to aforementioned problem boiled down to a two-minute cell phone conversation, with the person on other end around ears and thus saying nothing to avoid saying something incriminating. I fear that this solution is only temporary and not even that good. Funny that it was created to maintain both the status quo and my happiness factor. Just by the fact that I know I shouldn't be taking this course of action is obliterating that second goal. Sure, it might suffice these next few weeks, but what about long term?

Apart from that, swing dancing last night was a blast, and I saw some people I definitely was not expecting to see, as well as a few regulars with whom I was looking forward to catching up.

Lunch break is ending, and back to work I must go.

I don't want to mess with the HTMLing anymore. Just did a bit to make my blog look like less of a mess.

Must leave for a wedding gig soon. Must get ready, but also must pour out a little bit into this blog o' mine, because I feel ready to burst.

Asked a question yesterday to a friend, and not really expecting an answer, I got one and it shocked me. It made me rethink a lot of things; it upset me. I realized slowly that this large portion of my life, one that I thought would remain fairly constant, is now only a shadow of what it once was, all due to my misconceptions and lies to myself. I think I know what I need to do in regards to all of this, but I really, really would rather not - I have doubts as to whether I am strong enough a person for it. I guess I will continue to act as I normally would, but I'll keep in mind the truth instead of lying to myself and I'll see where that gets me - maybe the plan that I know I should follow will become the one that I want to follow.

I think that little vague paragraph helped some. Made me feel less likely to puke.

Wedding time.

screw that shizzle.

just one more time.

wow. I SUCK at this stuff.

click here and see if you get my tolo pic. If it does, it means I'm that much closer to learning HTML. Want some more Batman? try here.

well, if this isn't the most annoying blog layout you've ever seen in your life.

So I suck at HTMLing. Give me a break, it's my first shot at it.

At least my efforts in altering my blog made me rechannel my frustrations into something less damaging to worry about.

Tried to vent frustrations about life to a friend today. Either he did not want to listen or (more likely) I was not capable of communicating my greivances. I guess why this website is here, right?

What's the big fing deal with partying? Everyone thinks it to be so much damn fun, going out and getting drunk/stoned off your ass..

Shit. Dad's home. Gotta go to bed. More later..

Because this looked fun, I lifted it from the 19-year-old's blog. (what are we going to call her when she turns twenty? I know not.) Speaking of the 19 year old... how'd it go with you and Rowan and that whole colony thing?

ah well, now for the stolen game which I am sure will not go with my blog layout at all. But it will be fun.

Five details about you...
[x] I love to laugh
[x] I don't like to clean most of the time, but sometimes I go on cleaning rampages and it's frightening
[x] I'm bigger on music, less on movies
[x] I'm too goddamn overweight
[x] I have to play mind games with myself so that I'm comfortable enough to talk to some people

Five details about your appearance right now...
[x] parts of my hair are dyed red and fading fast
[x] my black pants have a small white stain on them
[x] I actually blowdryed my hair so it looks semi-decent today
[x] my complexion is doing 90 in the fast lane on the road to hell
[x] no makeup, save mascara

Five things you did today
[x] gave a lady an ultrasound on her shoulder
[x] sang along to "The Tango Maureen" from RENT in my car on the way to work
[x] ate a bean burrito and two peaches
[x] made a chart for a new patient
[x] took a shower

Five memorable things you did in the last year...
[x] prom
[x] graduated
[x] played my last year of basketball
[x] sang a duet with Rowan
[x] drove to Seattle two nights in a row for no reason

Five things that everyone should know about you...
[x] I will love you forever if you burn me a CD
[x] I'm always hungry, so give me food and i'll love you forever (again)
[x] I play violin, piano (sort of), and basketball
[x] I have a secret passion for theatre and improv comedy
[x] I knit

Five favorite groups... (today)
[x] coldplay
[x] dispatch
[x] grand funk railroad
[x] U2
[x] AC/DC

Five favorite songs... (today)
[x] jack johnson - Flake
[x] billy joel - my life
[x] radiohead - karma police
[x] duran duran - rio
[x] jason robert brown - I'd give it all for you

Five favorite movies... (today)
[x] bandits
[x] moulin rouge
[x] the usual suspects
[x] lord of the rings (the 2nd one)
[x] CHUD! (not really)

Five things that make you happy...
[x] happy juice
[x] when everybody gets along
[x] swing dancing
[x] an email written just for me
[x] german

Five people who mean a lot to you...
[x] my family (I know that's four, but what would I do if I listed them all out... it'd take up all my space)
[x] Manzanita
[x] Batman
[x] Jihad
[x] kaffygrl

Five things you can't live without...
[x] my buddies
[x] music
[x] food, esp. sugar
[x] exercise
[x] blogs :)


Five things you'll do when you complete this...
[x] take a short nap
[x] start a new file for another new patient
[x] work until five
[x] go to the valley
[x] go to IB campout #2

Five things you feel right now...
[x] tired
[x] sore
[x] dancy
[x] trapped (in an office)
[x] sated (that burrito was yummy)

hmm, yeah. Nap time.

UPDATE

Everybody should check out Dave Barry's blog and read his entry for July 13th. Afterwards, follow the instructions. I personally think this joke is HILARIOUS and it shows the enormous following that this blog has. If only our mortal blogs had such rabid fans... think of the power, the potential, the possibilities.

Last night was much like the evening prior, at least to start with... I went downtown, as I did Monday, but this time Batman and Tease and Asian were actually there. We went to Dumpster Values. All of the girls bought something cute and random (I found a $9 black dress, really pretty), and Batman, who was the one we were supposed to be shopping for, didn't buy anything. (although we did find a hot 2-tone velvet bowling shirt, extra small... it was pretty tight, literally.) Then there was Frisbee, and afterwards swimming at Kennydale. Things took a turn after that... Trojan lost his wallet, so we had to retrieve it from the lady who found it. Then we went to Denny's, Top Foods, Safeway, and ended up stargazing at this little secluded forest clearing. (We being J-Dawg and his friend, Trojan and his girlfriend, and me.) I need to stop getting in so late, though... I'm getting up too late and Dad is starting to get pissy about it.

Talked to Jihad on my lunch break for a bit. It was 10 PM in Barcelona and they (Jihad and Mini-Sheik) were prepping to go out for the night. Two brothers hitting the town together... how cute. They return in less than a fortnight. Shall be exciting.. that and the prospect of Mini-Sheik and I taking the older one back to college. Road trips rock.

anyway, lunch break is over, so I'd best get back to work. hope to see you all tonight at burfoot park at 6.

the following song has no real signifigance except that it is stuck in my head, thanks to 97.7:

oh we're halfway there
oh living on a prayer
take my hand
we'll make it I swear
oh living on a prayer

Bon Jovi - Living on a Prayer