Every Action

Has a consequence.
I did not know she was watching
when I finally followed
what cannot be called an impulse
-it had been long planned-
and kissed him.
I did not know
how much it would hurt
when I told them I was leaving-
I imagined my pain as sharp but fleeting,
ignoring the fact that theirs would be as a dull ache,
throbbing before
Every thunderstorm.

Watching a fire burn
seeing a tree torn down
observing the pavement strewn
with broken glass from a shattered window.
All these-
irreversible processes?
I can acquire more paper,
plant another tree
collect the glass pieces
and forge them into a new whole.
Easy! to fix!
I can tell her I didn't mean it
Tell them I'll be back to visit soon.
Simple. Einfach.
There is no need to fear
die Folgen
A touch of diplomatic glue
Should fix the problem
patch the hole
make things right again

Sein Grossvater war einer von denen.
Dran hab' ich nie vorher gedacht.
Stimmt war er ein Deutscher.
-nein, romanisch-
jedenfalls stimmte er mit
dem dritten Reich ein.
(und hat in der Luftwaffe
mitgeteilt.)
Was bedeutet das denn?
Wir sind alle Menschen.
Wir haben
dieselben Sorgen
dieselben Freude
(ich lachele drueber)
Und jetzt
gibt's die Futur. In diesem Moment.
In keinem Anderen.
Deshalb ist es egal, oder?
Dass er ein Nazi war.
Wenn man wirklich drueber denkt,
findet man
jedes Land ist ein Reich.
das dritte?
das vierte?
das einundzwanstige?
Wir kuemmern uns hauptsachlich um uns selbst
nicht um die Andere.
Die vereinigen Staaten-
was fuer ein vollkommenes Beispiel!
Dann weisst man
wie es ziemlich heisst:
Die amerikanicshes Heuchelei!

Aaah! RF! Where'd your linky bits go??!?!?

WHOA.

whoa whoa whoa.

somehow Blogger changed the ENTIRE USER INTERFACE when I wasn't looking. Or something like that. I guess I've been away for quite some time.

Went camping this weekend with some CRAZY cats. I mean it. It was a blast... we played flashlight tag-like games until the wee hours of the morning, crawling about in the sand dunes at Twin Harbors campgrounds near Westport. Good times. and since we had to drive through O-Town to get there, I had the first chance all quarter to drop in on my family and see how they were doing. didn't get to see the sister, though - she is so busy nowadays, what with volleyball and her friends and such. Reminds me of myself when I was that age....

I should be working on an English reading response right now, but instead I've been distracted by this little gem we like to call UW Facebook. Check it out, all you UWers out there.. I suggest you sign up and request me as your friend, because it's quite fun once you get going.

I don't like this new interface. I really don't. bleh.

aight, over and out.

I swallow hard
back of the throat connecting with the tongue
because what I have to say
is difficult to get out -
difficult, but important
vital
and so I must do it quickly
before I lose it,
before the moment is gone...
There.
Haltingly, with a bit of a stutter
and a touch of uncertainty,
the thought is voiced -
a gleaming beacon of depth and understanding
even in its imperfection.
I trust him -
trust him to take it -
gently pick it up with forceps and Latex gloves
quietly admire its small white light
smile, maybe
and then offer up one of two possible responses
- love mixed with concern and thoughfulness -
- indignance mixed with a crushing fury. -
so imagine my surprise
when the tiny ball of light is neither
embraced, nor
rejected
but simply allowed to slide
into the abyss
taking with it
a portion
of
my
own
light

Jeff (on poker with a cult): "I raise you a soul, and my firstborn."
wondertone03: I see your soul and firstborn and raise you a sacrifical goat and the blood of a donkey.

Add me to the blog webring. I want to add my two cents, too.

I see great things in you. I believe you have drive, passion, and a motivation, though you may not see it yet. Throughout high school you were this great, smart, compassionate boy, one who sees light and beauty in things that other people ignore. I looked up to you; I thought you were older than you really were. So when you first told me, during the first few hours of the new year, lying next to the pool table in the dark, I didn't believe it. Not one word. How could such a brilliant, compassionate person do that? CR's right - you are blessed, and you need to keep that in mind; however, it doesn't mean you don't require sympathy, or help, or love. So i'm here to say it: I am sorry, and I do love you.

I sometimes wonder what Jesus must have felt like, dying for the sins of world, wanting so badly to take them upon himself. Do you ever feel like that? Of course, on a much smaller scale. But even the desire to take away the pain and the hurt, because they're hurting so much that YOU hurt. It's a glimpse of that.

How can I help?

so, Tr00 told me to write something in my blog at this moment. So I'm doing it. Why I listen to Tr00, I don't know, but it sounded like a good idea at the time. Hokay.

Tomorrow I have to work for the opening day of boating, and it will really suck, because it starts at 7 AM.

UPDATE: Jeff would rather have me call him "Jeff", not "Tr00". So, I guess that's the new "rule". I should stop using "quotation marks". WOW can I type GOOD! I mean, I don't even have to look at the keyboard or anything, it's really very amazing. Now Jeff is trying to poke my eye out, and I'm very concerned about it.

Jeff once had a friend named Marcus, who really liked sparkles. Ya know, like sparkles on a girl, for makeup purposes.

Jeff just gave me a really cheesy compliment about sparkles. This is getting cuh-razy!

Over and out.

these guys are seriously awesome, check 'em out:

while we walk around this town like we own the streets
and stay awake through summer like we own the heat
singing "everybody wake up
it's time to get down"
and when I pass the bottle back to Pete
on the overpass tonight
i bet we laugh
i'm gonna stay 18 forever
so we can stay like this forever
and we'll never miss a party
because we keep them going constantly
and we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything
because it's all been done
and it's all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
you're just jealous cuz we're young and in love
your stomach's filled up with your stupid conversation
you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed
and you're tearing up your photos cuz you wanna forget
it's over

Soco Amaretto Lime as sung by Emocapella

Koosh83: go hunting for gnomes!

Auto response from Koosh83: trying to go find something fun to do that does not involve sitting at my computer and going insane

Koosh83: why you might ask
Koosh83: cuz they are badass!
Koosh83: and they have cool pointy hats
Koosh83: like david the gnome!

*after sticking nose into milk carton, and being told that yes, that is indeed what milk is suppose to smell like* "...well, can't say I've ever stuck my nose in a milk carton before."

that's just here for safe keeping.

hmm. regarding random post from the 18th. I guess I hit "post" that day instead of "post and publish". so THAT's why it wasn't showing up. ha. haha.

oh Elias, I see you there
I work in the daytime
do you think you could answer all the questions of the world
in just one word?
I think you could
if you die will I get word at your door
will I hear it in passing conversation
will I stop short and fall to the ground
distance is short
when your hand carries what your eye found
hold my hand just one more time
to see if you're really gonna need me

Been listening to way too much Dispatch lately. Not that this is a bad thing... it's just that I've started singing "Elias" around the dorms and I know people are starting to notice the repetition. But it's so beautiful!!

evidently the iPod came in a few days ago. now all I have to do is get my butt down to Oly to pick it up, or bribe somebody into picking it up for me. hmm, but yes, very excited.

i have a bunch of Dorito's Rollitos that I don't want to eat anymore. there's just too many. hmm, speaking of too many of something, I have too many choices when it comes to when I want to work this fall. There are the football games, which would be good because I'd get paid about 50-60 bucks a game, plus free tickets. Downside is lack of tailgating, but somehow I think I'd survive. I do miss my parking job, sadly enough.

ok, time for bed. this is enough blogging for one night.

Evil Ninja has offended me. I must find a replacement. Send one my way, y'all, if ya could. (But don't make it the Terror Alert Level one - that one is kinda lame.)

wow. at the library, and almost wholly unmotivated to do my work. Yet, must do it, for if I don't, evil midgets will kill me with sticks. or my GPA might just go down. Either way.

Didn't get accepted into the German program I applied for, and in addition to that, I lost my Husky card. All before breakfast. That day wasn't a good one.... when was that? Tuesday? yes, I think it was last Tuesday.

Hard to believe that this is the 4th week of the quarter. Just another month and a half and my first year at college will be over. I don't know exactly what to make of it - sure, it's been a great year, and I"ll miss my room/roommates next year, and stuff. I just feel like it could have been better. oh well, it's good. And plus next year i'll get to study Biology instead of this chem nonsense. woot!

it will also be fun, albeit a major distraction, to have friends from semester colleges coming up to visit in early May. I don't know exactly how all that will work out, considering us quarter kids will need to study during that time, but i'm sure it'll be okay.

Right, well, back to my prelab.

Satellite, in my eyes
like a diamond in the sky
how I wonder
Satellite strung from the moon
and the world your balloon
Peeping Tom for the mother station

Winter's cold spring erases
And the calm away by the storm is chasen
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down, all around
satellite

Dave Matthews Band - Satellite