so i'm sitting in class, pretending to listen to my english TA. usually when I am bored in class, i take out a piece of paper and write letters to my friends, and sometimes I write stuff that I will later post to my blog... that's where this crazy poetry is coming from. but today i'm lucky - we've got the computer lab so we can learn how to do research. Thanks IB, for already teaching me all of this so i could use this time to enter this valuable blog post. :P

woke up at 8:15 today for my 8:30 chem exam which is about a 15 minute leisurious walk. so once I left my dorm at 8:20, I was scrurrying/running/walking very, very quickly to get to Bagley in time. got there with one minute to spare... felt pretty confident taking it. it was pretty much what I expected. so, yay. of course, i'll prolly get it back and find out it kicked my butt. C'est la vie.

you know what's cool about Xanga? they let you give e-props. I'd like that... some feedback on my blog. oh WAIT, that's what that flooble chatterbox was for, and we all know how that turned out.

well, since the chem midterm is over, i can finally relax. Go to the IMA today, go celebrate the Tajikistani's birthday by going to see Troy with her and the floor, go to acapella rehearsal and have fun. much excited. i could start right now if it weren't for that pesky class thing. psssh. anyway.

oh yeah, and I saw RENT Tuesday night in Tacoma! it was AWESOME. i was soooo excited. i went with a bunch of people who hadn't seen it or heard the music, so afterwards in the car i felt like I was babbling when I kept saying things like "Mimi was really powerful when she sang 'Out Tonight'" and people would respond with "was she the one with the blue pants?" haha. oh well. we also had horrible seats, but you can't expect a whole lot when you buy the cheapest tickets. The guy who sat next to me in during the show was from Central Washington University, and he was seeing RENT for the 6th time. He was dressed up like Mark, and we discussed how Joanne and Roger were poorly cast, Joanne because she wasn't butch enough, and Roger because his hair was too long. But then, Roger could have cut his hair, and that would probably have been okay, because he had a good voice. Aaaaanyway. Next time, i'm taking my brother the second.

You look familar
Like your ex-girlfriend
Only when you smile but I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else
Do you go to the Cat-Scratch club
That's where I work, I dance. Help me look!
Yes! They used to tie you up...
It's a living.
I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs...
We could light the candle
Oh won't you light my candle?

Light the Candle - RENT
(Roger's lines are bold/italic; Mimi's are italic)

Wagner's "Tannhaeuser" is playing over and over in my mind - it keeps coming up as background music in these crazy German films I keep seeing for my various German classes.
Speaking of German. What the heck do I think I'm going to be able to do with it? Ideally I'd minor in it, maybe even get a second major. But with honors, premed reqs, and last but not least a major in biology... I don't think I'll possibly have time for German. Future, looming so close on the horizon. What am I going to do next summer? This summer I'm going to Germany for 2 months, and then working at Dad's office again. but next summer... what to do, what to do.
options:
1. live at home, work at dad's office. Go camping/hiking as much as possible. When autumn rolls around, find a house and make a bunch of friends move into it with you.
2. find a place in Seattle to live for summer and junior year. Take a class over summer (maybe just A or B term), and work in the city.

tough decision, eh?

from Roethke's "The Far Field"

I learned not to fear infinity,
The far field, the windy cliffs of forever,
The dying of time in the white light of tomorrow,
The wheel turning away from itself,
The sprawl of the wave,
The on-coming water.

I am just so cool
I do all of my blogging
inside of one day.

Every Action

Has a consequence.
I did not know she was watching
when I finally followed
what cannot be called an impulse
-it had been long planned-
and kissed him.
I did not know
how much it would hurt
when I told them I was leaving-
I imagined my pain as sharp but fleeting,
ignoring the fact that theirs would be as a dull ache,
throbbing before
Every thunderstorm.

Watching a fire burn
seeing a tree torn down
observing the pavement strewn
with broken glass from a shattered window.
All these-
irreversible processes?
I can acquire more paper,
plant another tree
collect the glass pieces
and forge them into a new whole.
Easy! to fix!
I can tell her I didn't mean it
Tell them I'll be back to visit soon.
Simple. Einfach.
There is no need to fear
die Folgen
A touch of diplomatic glue
Should fix the problem
patch the hole
make things right again

Sein Grossvater war einer von denen.
Dran hab' ich nie vorher gedacht.
Stimmt war er ein Deutscher.
-nein, romanisch-
jedenfalls stimmte er mit
dem dritten Reich ein.
(und hat in der Luftwaffe
mitgeteilt.)
Was bedeutet das denn?
Wir sind alle Menschen.
Wir haben
dieselben Sorgen
dieselben Freude
(ich lachele drueber)
Und jetzt
gibt's die Futur. In diesem Moment.
In keinem Anderen.
Deshalb ist es egal, oder?
Dass er ein Nazi war.
Wenn man wirklich drueber denkt,
findet man
jedes Land ist ein Reich.
das dritte?
das vierte?
das einundzwanstige?
Wir kuemmern uns hauptsachlich um uns selbst
nicht um die Andere.
Die vereinigen Staaten-
was fuer ein vollkommenes Beispiel!
Dann weisst man
wie es ziemlich heisst:
Die amerikanicshes Heuchelei!

Aaah! RF! Where'd your linky bits go??!?!?

WHOA.

whoa whoa whoa.

somehow Blogger changed the ENTIRE USER INTERFACE when I wasn't looking. Or something like that. I guess I've been away for quite some time.

Went camping this weekend with some CRAZY cats. I mean it. It was a blast... we played flashlight tag-like games until the wee hours of the morning, crawling about in the sand dunes at Twin Harbors campgrounds near Westport. Good times. and since we had to drive through O-Town to get there, I had the first chance all quarter to drop in on my family and see how they were doing. didn't get to see the sister, though - she is so busy nowadays, what with volleyball and her friends and such. Reminds me of myself when I was that age....

I should be working on an English reading response right now, but instead I've been distracted by this little gem we like to call UW Facebook. Check it out, all you UWers out there.. I suggest you sign up and request me as your friend, because it's quite fun once you get going.

I don't like this new interface. I really don't. bleh.

aight, over and out.

I swallow hard
back of the throat connecting with the tongue
because what I have to say
is difficult to get out -
difficult, but important
vital
and so I must do it quickly
before I lose it,
before the moment is gone...
There.
Haltingly, with a bit of a stutter
and a touch of uncertainty,
the thought is voiced -
a gleaming beacon of depth and understanding
even in its imperfection.
I trust him -
trust him to take it -
gently pick it up with forceps and Latex gloves
quietly admire its small white light
smile, maybe
and then offer up one of two possible responses
- love mixed with concern and thoughfulness -
- indignance mixed with a crushing fury. -
so imagine my surprise
when the tiny ball of light is neither
embraced, nor
rejected
but simply allowed to slide
into the abyss
taking with it
a portion
of
my
own
light

Jeff (on poker with a cult): "I raise you a soul, and my firstborn."
wondertone03: I see your soul and firstborn and raise you a sacrifical goat and the blood of a donkey.

Add me to the blog webring. I want to add my two cents, too.

I see great things in you. I believe you have drive, passion, and a motivation, though you may not see it yet. Throughout high school you were this great, smart, compassionate boy, one who sees light and beauty in things that other people ignore. I looked up to you; I thought you were older than you really were. So when you first told me, during the first few hours of the new year, lying next to the pool table in the dark, I didn't believe it. Not one word. How could such a brilliant, compassionate person do that? CR's right - you are blessed, and you need to keep that in mind; however, it doesn't mean you don't require sympathy, or help, or love. So i'm here to say it: I am sorry, and I do love you.

I sometimes wonder what Jesus must have felt like, dying for the sins of world, wanting so badly to take them upon himself. Do you ever feel like that? Of course, on a much smaller scale. But even the desire to take away the pain and the hurt, because they're hurting so much that YOU hurt. It's a glimpse of that.

How can I help?

so, Tr00 told me to write something in my blog at this moment. So I'm doing it. Why I listen to Tr00, I don't know, but it sounded like a good idea at the time. Hokay.

Tomorrow I have to work for the opening day of boating, and it will really suck, because it starts at 7 AM.

UPDATE: Jeff would rather have me call him "Jeff", not "Tr00". So, I guess that's the new "rule". I should stop using "quotation marks". WOW can I type GOOD! I mean, I don't even have to look at the keyboard or anything, it's really very amazing. Now Jeff is trying to poke my eye out, and I'm very concerned about it.

Jeff once had a friend named Marcus, who really liked sparkles. Ya know, like sparkles on a girl, for makeup purposes.

Jeff just gave me a really cheesy compliment about sparkles. This is getting cuh-razy!

Over and out.

these guys are seriously awesome, check 'em out:

while we walk around this town like we own the streets
and stay awake through summer like we own the heat
singing "everybody wake up
it's time to get down"
and when I pass the bottle back to Pete
on the overpass tonight
i bet we laugh
i'm gonna stay 18 forever
so we can stay like this forever
and we'll never miss a party
because we keep them going constantly
and we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything
because it's all been done
and it's all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
you're just jealous cuz we're young and in love
your stomach's filled up with your stupid conversation
you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed
and you're tearing up your photos cuz you wanna forget
it's over

Soco Amaretto Lime as sung by Emocapella

Koosh83: go hunting for gnomes!

Auto response from Koosh83: trying to go find something fun to do that does not involve sitting at my computer and going insane

Koosh83: why you might ask
Koosh83: cuz they are badass!
Koosh83: and they have cool pointy hats
Koosh83: like david the gnome!