18.4.03

Came across a random site today that was rather odd, but one of the stories did include luncheon meat truncheons.
.....
Yeah, that was my reaction, too. You can check it out at your own risk, although I regret including a link to a site with such revolting sexual innuendos.
So bored today. Went to the gym already. I suppose I could clean house, but I've been supposing that for a few hours now. Am wondering how my truck would look if I washed and waxed it. Actually doing that would be another thing altogether.
Hell, I might as well go and do one of the two aforementioned activities, because otherwise I will just sit here, surf the web, and eat. No good.

out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstacy
but I'll be a bag of bones
driving down the road alone
my heart is drenched in white
you'll be on my mind forever
Something has to make you run
don't know why I didn't come
feel as empty as a drum
don't know why i didn't come


Norah Jones, Don't Know Why

17.4.03

I'm back!
Got back yesterday. we had a fantastic time... managed to stay out of trouble. Narrowly. Anyway, so my brother is out on a date, except I think he missed the showtime. I'll check once Dad gets off the phone... yep. Turns out Brother #1 got lost on the way to his date's house, and they're gonna have to catch an ever later showtime of Anger Management. That kid should not be allowed to drive.
Speaking of Anger Management, Mini-Sheik wants me to watch it with him when he gets back from his road trip. And Manzanita, who is currently in Southern California, might go see it with Jihad. How's that for irony?
I miss Manzanita and Batman. They need to come home right now, dammit.
So, fun game to be played tonight. Something about running around and trying to get downtown without people in cars finding you. Sounds like Grand Theft Auto 3 without the guns and killing. Also, if all goes well, no police. And no stealing cars.
Okay, bad analogy.

The quote that I wanted to include in Monday's post was from Cheers... couldn't find it anywhere on the 'net. So... I'll pretend I have it. It was from Cliff, and he was talking about Big Boy's, and how he's so vulnerable because everyone knows what he looks like. Denny's knows what they're doing, because no one has ever seen Denny. Then he ends it by saying, "Did I just say that out loud?"
...It would probably be funnier if I had the quote.
Gotta go work on convincing Dad that running around at midnight will be safe. And that I'll be home at a reasonable hour. Like that'll work.

currently addicted to dispatch's the general

14.4.03

I'm going on a roadtrip!!! yay! Should be good fun - I've never been out of state with just my friends before.
Funny what you dream up to do when your closest friends are out of town.
Sucks that I started Spring Break off with a nasty cold. Hope it goes away soon, but I don't think swimming in the ocean will alleviate my illness.
Well, i have errands to run before I have to leave, so I'll catch ya all later (a few days from now). have a good spring break, my friends!

[quote I was searching for today was not available - check back in a week]

11.4.03

spent a considerable amount of time updating myself on my friends' blogs.
Had a busy day today, what with the talent show tryouts, and school, and pre-school workout, and math study group. Surprisingly, I'm not tired. Spent a lot of time tonight reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis and talking on the phone with the knot. Now I'm on the computer and probably won't go to bed for another 30 minutes, though I should have been asleep a long time ago.
Don't know where to go and what to do. Seems like I've got some of the bigger stuff figured out (e.g, where I'm going to school next fall) but a lot of the smaller, more trivial things are slowing me down. Shouldn't matter, since I'm going to be gone in 5 months anyway, right? But there's smaller decisions, and algebra, and stuff.
Funny how I used to be so sure of myself. Subsequent re-evaluations have led to less self-confidence and more questions. Questioning everything.... morals, relationships, the nature of love, religion, human interaction.
Speaking of the last subject at hand... I'm just now realizing what consequences my actions have - not on me but on other people. I used to think that I was so insignificant as to not effect change in anybody through interacting with them. Now, I see that while this is true for a majority of people, the few that I do matter to can be pretty affected even just by a little action on my part - a missed comment or lack of a reaction, stuff like that. I don't know if it's my responsibility to change that so I don't hurt people's feelings or make them think that I don't like them. It's a fine line between being normal and being lazy and insensitive. Don't want to be fake.
On a different aspect of topic of above paragraph: people don't intentionally rip people's hearts out. You hear of people being intentionally cruel and playing lovegames just to get satisfaction out of hurting another human being. I just want to say that in most cases the person doing the damage really didn't mean to beat the victim's feeling into the ground with a rubber truncheon. She looks guilty, and many people will blame her for it, but really she just didn't know what she was doing. Not that she shouldn't be blamed, because in part it was her fault, but there are other circumstances which lead up to the final solution. It's just the culmination of a struggle where we are all trying to find what love is and how to handle situations with which we are faced. Unfortunately, some of us make choices which turn out to be wrong or ill-advised.
Of course, I've got 3 people in mind here. More, if you count the casualties. Don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but there's some of it anyway.
Going to bed now... must function well for calc test tomorrow and track meet Saturday in far-off city (the armpit of WA, as one loyal reader calls it). Prepared to take a week off from everything - school, algebra, various other responsibilities - and have some good old-fashioned fun during Spring Break.

Tonight's music (which has been on repeat and I haven't bothered to turn it off or change the song):
Lady Madonna - Beatles

7.4.03

Currently, I am having fun sending random pictures and sound files over AIM to people I know. Okay, not so random... Tolo pics and classical concertos, which are good for studying. The music, I mean... not so much the pics.
This will indeed prove to be the biggest blog entry about nothing. they're all about nothing, I suppose, but this one is short and has no substance whatsoever. After reading it, you will have no idea as to what mood I'm in... whether I'm happy or sad, frusterated or enlightened, energetic or depressed.
Tough luck for you.
Time to go do situps.

Music: Bachianas Brasiliaras
realized i had a double-post from about a week ago. Have since deleted one of the two said posts. Sorry 'bout that.
so, I made the second-biggest mistake of my life today. Specifically, I convinced my family that we should have Thai on the one day this month that we get to eat out. Sounded good in theory. The flaws: We ordered a family meal, so we got a bunch of food that none of us necessarily liked. Flaw #2 was when Brother #1 told the waitress that we wanted our food "medium" spicy, a level which can be murder on the inexperienced taste bud. Despite my warnings ("you won't like it!"), all our food came to us at this spicyness. Consequentially, Sister and Brother #2 (who usually eats anything put in front of him and then some) refused to eat. The latter of the two commenced whining about how many pizzas we could have bought with the money we spent, and made sarcastic comments about the spiciness. Blamed it on Brother #1. Said he'd rather go to Emperor's Palace.
Oh well, more Thai food for me. I enjoyed it. My family did not. All of us had cleared sinuses.
Needless to say, my family will never again trust me when it comes to taste in food. We'll probably have to follow the whims of Brother #2, who chose a cheap Chinese buffet in Tacoma for his birthday dinner. Definitely a quantity over quality type of guy, which bugs me a little. I've labelled him as such to his face but I don't think he really gets it.
Now I understand why I eat out with my friends. More culture. But going with the family means I don't have to pay.

The following excerpt from Dave Barry's blog made me laugh. Hard.

STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE OCEAN

This thing probably has relatives.
posted by Dave 11:15 AM

If you want more, you can get it here. Fun links to things such as Mullet Haiku, which I have quoted in my AIM profile.
Aren't you guys proud of how I finally figured out how to insert hyperlinks? Everybody clap.
The variables which complicate equations are indeed what makes math fubar. Fucking variables.
I'm dreading telling RF that Jihad took RENT with him to school. He'll probably read this before I get a chance to tell him anyway. Oh well, I could always buy the music, or maybe we'll sing something from "Into the Woods" as originally planned. I was practicing the other song though - about ten times on the way to symphony rehearsal this evening. such fantastic harmony.
CougFest would have been lots better had it been advertised. There were plenty of products, which surprised me, but unfortunately not a lot of people came.
Am feeling fat and unhealthy. Must go to the Valley more and eat less junk food.
Had a weird talk with Jihad about relationships tonight. We each talked about the things we are going through at the moment with current love interests... it's hard to describe. Pulling away from him has got to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but it seems to be working, because there were no crazy pangs of jealously or strange alienating remarks tonight... we were oddly straightforward with each other about each other's lives.
Why am I up so late? I know not. Mostly because of some CDs that this damn computer is taking forever to burn.
Trying to extend the weekend and failing miserably. Spring break in a week, yo. Totally looking forward. Gotta get through this week first, though. And then it's a week without school, but also without Manzanita and Batman. It will be a bit sad.

take a shower, shine your shoes
you've got no time to lose
you're a young man, you must be livin'
go now, you are forgiven


dispatch - the general

4.4.03

Friday five! (from www.fridayfive.org)

1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
This one, the house on Cooper Point (where SG currently lives) and one near Oly High School, which wasn't in Olympia. Weird, huh? I would have gone to BHHS had I continued living there.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
Prolly the one prior to my current place of residence, since it was so big and would have been perfect for holding parties. For some reason I never held any good parties, but my parents had a really awesome one when I was about 10. Also there was a beach, and a whole-house speaker system, and a basement in which I lived, and, and, and. I miss it a little.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
Mostly stressful. After I'm settled in, it's exciting for a few weeks 'cuz it's new.
4. What's more important, location or price?
Haven't really had to deal with that yet, but given my current financial situation (aka not buying a house anytime soon), I'd have to say price.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
I don't spend much time dreaming about houses. I suppose that keeps me from being disappointed later on though, huh?

Finally received long-awaited email. Did a whole lot of nothing after school today... visited random people. Felt like summer and I'm liking it. Going bowling tonight and excited that it is the weekend, although weekends never last long. Spring break in a week! Hallelujah!

3.4.03

talent show! I wanna do a duet and I've got just the person in mind with whom I'd like to do it. Can't tell you guys who it is, but the way I formatted the previous sentence to avoid leaving a dangling preposition should give you a clue.
Bio was great fun... I was hyper the entire way up, very interested in the presentations and tours, cold during lunch, and then hyper again on the way back home. Bus rides with friends are the greatest, except when they pressure you into kissing a random friend if they promise they'll do the same. I felt like I was in middle school. God.
Batman was a good sport, though.
The track meet in Tacoma went well, I thought. I wasn't going to participate because of my gimpy ankle - was just going to sit, knit and chat with J-dawg. Turns out that just by half-assing the shot put, I could place, so I did it. Hope I'm well enough to throw javelin in the cross-town-rival meet next week.
Other sentiments have not changed since this morning. Still upset about said missing email, and still satisfied with my not-so-problematic math problem.

current music: 50 Cent - In da Club
RF: I can deal with the abbreviation. Works much better.
Going on a bio field trip today, and I am excited. That's not why I'm up at 10 to 6 in the morning, though... I'm going to the Valley, and I'd better leave soon. Must take care of some business first, so I'd better stop blogging. Just thought I'd update you all, though. Does it feel like Friday to anybody but me? I wish it were, because then I could do the Friday Five.
(Don't know what that is? You'll find out tomorrow.)
Anyway... yo, yo, yo. A bit angry that Jihad hasn't emailed me back. Am happy with the way my algebra seems to be solving itself.

and you can tell everybody
that this is your song
it may be quite simple but
now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
that I put down in words
how wonderful life is
when you're in the world


oh yes, my friends, that's Elton John.

2.4.03

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
P.S. anybody notice the reformatting of the date? I decided to do it the European way (well, at least the German way). Because, I mean, people usually think about what day it is, and THEN you think about the month and the year. Just makes sense to me to be in that order.
Damn Paper 2's. Fell asleep studying for it last night, and am now wondering if there was any other homework that I neglected to do. Instead of actually checking, I'm posting on the blog. How's that for laziness and procrastination?
I wish I had some coffee.

I remember when
in a lover's whisper you said
no other man would ever share your bed
well we both know that's not been so
I wish I'd never let you go
now you've found a better man instead
I wish you health and wealth
and a white house on a hill
and I, I hope you raise a family
a little boy and a little girl
a little more joy in this little old world
well that'd be enough for me

if you think that I don't love you
you're just wrong
that don't matter now anyway
I couldn't bear to see you up there
with the white dress on
here's my vow to you
I'll stay away

"I do" - Jude

31.3.03

Thinking of creating new, super-secret blog that no one will be able to find. That way I can post all my disturbing thoughts and rest assured knowing that no one whom I care about reading them will read them. Does that make any sense?
Just got back from the gym. Funny how my will to exercise vacillates so much. One week I'm all hyped up to do it, and the next week I can barely drag myself out to the car. Sucks that I can't go with the flow on that one, because I'll get all out of shape and never get back into it. For working out, music is the deciding factor - I can listen to my Discman and work out simultaneously, and then I feel like I'm doing something constructive. Speaking of being constructive, I've got history reading to do, which is something that becomes quite difficult when there's music playing. I suppose I'll get to it eventually.
My pride took a nice slap in the face today when I realized I can't free-style a German oral. I tried to get out of it, but to no avail... hoo well, at least it was only practice. I'll do better in 35 hours, when I'm going to be taped.
Jihad left town again, which wasn't incredibly disappointing like I thought it'd be. Either it isn't or it won't sink in for a while. Had fun while he was here, at any rate. Watched a lot of movies. Free Emperor's Palace food at Mini-Sheik's surprise birthday party... if it weren't for the overload of sophomores it would have been a rockin' party. Man, I saw a lot of sophomores this weekend.
New developments on my math... Costco free samples are the greatest. Even when you actually buy food, it's pretty darn cheap. Good bonding times. Watched some rugby in fantastic weather. Schweet.
Waiting to hear from Pomona. Others are waiting on Stanford, and I'm partially glad that I won't be among the rejected, but then there's always that little part of me that says "what if?". But hey, if I had applied, I wouldn't have gotten in, and even if I did, I wouldn't have the money to go there. Heck, 'SC didn't take me, or at least give me sufficient funding as they did for a friend of mine. But what am I bitching about... I've got my path figured out. Opportunities abound, and I'm determined to exhast them. The most education for the least amount of money. Woo-pah.
Thinking it's time for a cinnamon roll (or as Batman calls them, "biscuits with frosting"), and then bed.
Note to RF: using the phrase "hella kinky nylon girl" has some baaad connotations surrounding it. Consider rephrasing that, if you would. See how all the adjectives modify "girl", even with the absence of commas? Word order changes or hyphenation, thank you very much.

softly now, you owe it to the world
and everyone knows that you're my favorite girl
but there's some things in life that are not meant to be
I'm not meant for you and you're not meant for me
here's to our problems and here's to our fights
here's to our achings and here's to you having a good life
for me

softer now, you owe it to yourself
and don't think that you will be left on the shelf
'cuz there's someone for you and there's someone for me
like me you'll meet them eventually
here's to your lover and here's to my wife
here's to your children and here's to you having a good life
for me

louder now, you've lost all your pain
you're married with children and happy again
now I'm regretting the move that I made
fatal mistakes are so easily made
enough of my problems - they only cause fights
forget that I loved you, I promise you'll have such a beautifully happy and painlessly romantic good life
for me


that's Francis Dunnery's Good Life for ya